Archdeacon: Elton John, Don't Turn Us Gay

by Jordan Yerman | March 16, 2007 at 09:00 am

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Archdeacon Isaac wants Elton John banned from Tobago's upcoming jazz festival because he fears that he'll somehow turn concert attendants gay. This is ridiculous, what with our living in the 21st Century and all. Having said that, I'd be more concerned with Tobago's citizens imitating his well-documented cocaine binges and fiscal mismanagement.

Sir Elton John may be banned from performing a forthcoming gig on the Caribbean island of Tobago for fears the musical Friend of Dorothy could turn the whole place gay, The Sun reports.

Sir Elton is slated to take to the stage at a jazz festival in April, but his imminent arrival has ruffled a few feathers on an island where homosexuality is "widely condemned".

Archdeacon Philip Isaac warned: "His visit can open the country to be tempted towards pursuing his lifestyle. He needs to be ministered to."

From what my gay friends tell me, and from what I've seen living here on planet Earth, homosexuality is an innate part of who you are as an individual, not some ray you can turn loose on a population like in X Men. I'm told that Sir Elton's parties are nothing short of legendary, but evidently I do not warrant an invitation.