Britney Rant a Mea Culpa or Cry for Help?

After flashing her private parts to the paparazzi, shaving her head and
checking in and out of rehab the way other stars check in and out of
the Chateau Marmont, Britney Spears  offers fans an explanation:

Blame it on ADD, bad managers and the media.
In a letter to her fans posted on her Web site, Spears pours out her
heart and asks for forgiveness. But those familiar with celebrities and
substance abuse don't believe Spears has come to terms with the cause
of what appears to be a months-long breakdown.

Saying she
wanted to "reach out to all of you and explain some of the things that
I have been faced with recently," Spears writes that she went to "a
very humbling place called rehab" not for alcohol or depression, but
because "I was like a bad kid running around with ADD."


Psychoanalyst and relationship expert Bethany Marshall doesn't believe
Spears has ADD. In fact, she thinks the pop star is digging for ways to
make her hard-partying habits not seem so bad.

Dear Fans,



I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things that I have been faced with recently.



It's so funny how many stories are put out there about people. It's
like we all want our side of the story out there as well, but at the
end of the day only a few people care to hear what is really going on
since the bad is always so much more interesting than the truth. I
don't know why, but this is so weird to me. I used to be angry at the
tabloids for printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just
be numb to what I see. I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry
on her show because they made her look fat. We all want a certain image
of ourselves out there, and at some point we all do really care what
other people think or we wouldn't be here.



Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit
rock bottom. Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or
depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a
manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life
after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a
little shock too. I didn't know who to go to. I realized how much
energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone
because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me
so sad. I confess, I was so lost.



This letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the
world with a completely different set of eyes now. Being in that
vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and
finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson
for me. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my
life. You never know another persons intentions or what another person
wants. I feel I was too open and looking for answers when I had it all
to begin with. I have had to cut so many people out of my life. It is
so sad, because if anyone is a family person...it is me. When I was
little I remember every night watching movies with my family and
feeling so at peace. Dancing and singing all the time just like a
little girl should. Now recently I find with my children that I want
them to have that feeling all of the time. I am having to face a lot of
things right now since I have children of my own. A lot of insecurities
from when I was little are coming up again. It is like we are never
good enough.



I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and I
hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for
this letter...to maybe allow people to look at me differently. It is
like when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think
things are supposed to be, that people just say you are a "bitch."

I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than
was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my
brain for a change and cut some ties, so they wanted to be in more
control of my life than me. I think it is actually normal for a young
girl to go out after a huge divorce. I think it was a bigger issue
because I had not gone out in such a long time. I am 25 and I do still
have a lot to learn, and I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am
sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or Good Morning
America. I am only human people and I love you for still loving me.



I am sitting here at home and it is 6:25 and both of my sons are
asleep. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Everyday is so
surreal. Life in general is so surreal and crazy.



I just hope this letter made some of you think a little bit more of me
and where I am coming from. I just want the same things in life that
you want...and that is to be happy. It is just so weird because
everyone has their own perception of me and how they think I really am.
It is so weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and
the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really
understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't
wait to meet him...or her.

"Attention deficient disorder -- that's very odd," Marshall said.
"Whether or not she's an addict, she's not yet ready to get sober,
because she's minimizing her behavior."

An Addict in Denial?


Spears goes on in the Web post to accuse her former manager, Larry
Rudolph, and others of trying to control her and blow her problems out
of proportion.

"I feel like some of the people in my life
made more of some issues than was necessary. I also feel like they knew
I was beginning to use my brain for a change and cut some ties, so they
wanted to be in more control of my life than me," she writes. "I think
it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce.
I think it was a bigger issue because I had not gone out in such a long
time."
Marshall speculated that Spears is lashing out at Rudolph and others --
like her mom, Lynn Spears -- who refused to "enable" her and pushed her
to seek help.

"These are the people who are calling her to
task for her drinking and her partying," says Marshall. "She's saying
they're making too big of a deal out of it, and then she's distorting
what the true issue is, saying, 'They don't want me to use my brain.'
She's confusing the real issue. They just want her to be a better
mother. She's basically attacking them for not enabling her."


Spears also points fingers at the media for publicizing her problems,
writing, "I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or
'Good Morning America.' I am only human people, and I love you for
still loving me."

By placing blame on everyone but herself
and not owning up to her mistakes, Spears fits the mold of an addict,
explained Marshall.

"It's not just a mistake to use all
night, abandon your children, shave off your hair and check yourself in
and out of rehab," Marshall said. "That's how addicts talk -- she's
talking exactly how addicts talk."

Spears' letter comes
less than a month after she staged a brief tour through San Diego,
Anaheim, Hollywood and Las Vegas. She seems to be emerging from the
shell she built around herself after her divorce, according to
celebrity publicist Michael Levine. But why do so with an Internet
letter rather than a high-profile TV interview or splashy magazine
cover story?

"It's more humble," Levine said. "And frankly,
she hasn't done so well on television -- it's a risky format for her.
Generally fans respond well to humility, contrition, personal
responsibility. I think her fans will like some of this; they'll like
vulnerable."

Marshall, meanwhile, sees the letter as
evidence that Spears is either completely out of touch with reality or
is immersed in a substance abuse problem -- either way, said the
psychoanalyst, she needs help.

"She doesn't appear to be
using the letter to make amends or to point to the reality of how out
of control it was or make it comprehensible, which would really pave
the way to true acceptance," Marshall said. "She appears to be talking
like addicts talk who are not yet ready to be sober."