Bush Postpones Elections for
The campaign season came to an unexpected halt today as the White House announced the 2006 and most likely the 2008 elections would be postponed for lack of interest. During a rare Rose Garden press conference with Fox News, Washington Times, and cardboard cutouts Pres. Bush proclaimed, "After reviewing the latest polling data it is obvious that there is no demand for the election. My advisors assure me if we wait 6 years Adam's Smith's invisible hand, I believe he's a member of the X-men, will spur interest for a healthier, stronger democracy."
Helen Thomas, disguised as a lawn gnome sitting on a toadstool, asked, "Doesn't that violate the Constitution and the very tenets of democracy?" The video feed then went out due to technical difficulties, only the sound of ravenous dogs and what can only be best described as a frightened Smurf being eaten could be heard.
Nancy Pelosi, Minority leader, (...)