Bush Warns of Iraqi Caliphate

Washington, D.C. (Digital Dementia News Services) - In a press conference that was as bizarre as it was brief, President Bush warned Americans to beware of Iraqi caliphate.

“I like to think that I am as adventurous as the next guy, but let me tell you this Iraqi caliphate is serious business. It tastes reasonably good, but if it has not been well-prepared and thoroughly cooked, you’re going to end up with a case of the squirts the likes of which you’ve never seen before. Believe me. I know!” President Bush told a roomful of thoroughly confused media reporters.

Brushing aside a barrage of questions from the press all attempting to clarify whether his remarks related to some obscure Iraqi cuisine or to rule by Islamic religious leaders, President Bush added that “As far as I am concerned, Iraqi caliphate is still your best bet for intestinal worms” and then strode purposefully out of the room in the direction of the men’s lavatory.