Ca$hing in on the Dating Game

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Ca$hing in on the Dating Game

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Opinion
Barry Artiste, Now Public Contributor

One of Vancouver's own saw a niche market and ran with it.  Markus Frind needed a girlfriend upgrade, and on the sly, (assuming unbeknownst  to his current girlfriend I'm sure), found other dating sites were raking in big bucks from the lovelorn. Long gone are the meeting women the old fashion way, such as in bars, family reunions, grocery stores, stalking, complete with court ordered restraint judgments.

Mr. Frick founded a free dating service called Plenty of Fish (POF).  POF is a strong competitor in the dating world in which other dating offer a pay as you date fee.

Intrigued and curious, I went to his POF site last night and other dating sites for many, many hours to research and investigate the appeal and see what lies in the dating pool, visiting sites and asking questions in their chat rooms.

For comparison purposes Now Public Readers I am viewing Vancouver Women and Men’s profiles only. Though this story certainly pertains to Men or Women all over the world. It is certainly interesting to see how as you age (especially women) your upgrade standards change drastically, for women sometimes into a downward spiral.

Whereby men regardless of age continually and unrealistically look for young supermodel arm candy.

One thing they all seek in their profiles when looking for someone is a healthy lifestyle, sense of humour, travel, intelligence and conversation.  Both men and women emphatically state, "No Photo, No Reply" meaning if you do not have a photo posted on your Profile, please do not contact them.  I guess it is true Humans are visual animals, though many dating sites have thousands of profiles without photos attached. I would think women more than men are reluctant to have their faces publicly displayed, it's a woman thing.

I found in literally hundreds of Vancouver women’s photos either holding a glass of wine, or a cat.

Men on the other hand, most of their photographs show them either shirtless or standing next to their car or truck.

An interesting observation were Men and Women's Canned “Cut and Paste” Profiles, almost identical to each other, with most women state in their profiles as weekend treks to the grouse grind, daily walking, jogging, cycling along the seawall, a glass of wine, sailing to moonlit walks along the beach.

Men were more inclined to manly pursuits,humourous , music,  BBQ, Tractor Pulls, Travel, dancing and rarely watch TV or Sports. Now who is lying?

What I find obvious on all dating sites, are women looking to for a mate or to upgrade their prospective suitors.  Many profiles lack the word Love and Companionship.

Though some words that stand out seem to be replaced subliminally by attractive women seen by some who rely on looks and their moneymaker.  Perhaps they may lack personality and intelligence, since being cash and champagne lifestyle poor feel any man who wish to pursue them, better have the cash and lifestyle to back it up if they wish to nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Most Men on the other hand are not as picky, as we are pretty much in the “Piggy Department”, as long as she looks fairly attractive, we will contact her.

This changes somewhat as we get older at 50. Somehow as we age we state we will settle for women between the ages of 35 to 45. Funny as we get older, we want them younger. There are no distinguished women, unlike men.

Below are my observations of the sexes in the dating pool.

Women under 40
The Women under 40 years of age shopping list of requirements read like a top 10 list of “must have” starting with age (Must not be over 45 years of age) and height requirements (5’10” or over, handsome (aren't we all?) seeking fit and toned, to financially secure, no photo to exchange, no response from us women.

One requirement which is featured exclusively on Match.com and some other dating sites are hundreds and hundreds of Vancouver Ladies, some of which their occupation or salary is not stated, yet demand a man must be in a professional career and make over 100K, before initiating contact with them. (it's nice to see the world's oldest profession is alive and well in the Vancouver dating pool too).

Men under 40
These men pretty much do not have a stringent list, as long as she younger than they are and are Hot! If the men are in their 20’s a Cougar will do nicely thank you!

Women over 40
The Women over 40 years of age shopping list of requirements also reads like a top 10 list of “must have” starting with age (must be under 50) apparently 50 year old Males are a death knell for these ladies, unless you are really, really rich and look like George Clooney, then they will make an exception. These ladies really, really stress the fact they look younger than their age according to friends and under the checklist of “Do you have kids”? Most women leave it blank. Height requirements 5’10” or over, handsome (again aren't we all?) must be fit and toned or average height weight proportion, to financially secure,no photo, no response, professionally employed, salary to be discussed.

Men over 40
These men pretty much do not have a stringent list, as long as she is younger than they are and preferably Hot!

Women over 50
The Women over 50 years of age shopping list of requirements begins to go into a spiraling train wreck for these women, who state the man they seek must be breathing at least, between the “ages 48 to 65 years of age, (Gee, funny how the age gap widens as women get older) height is not really an issue anymore, handsome, well easy on the eyes is acceptable to them, Body type, Fit and Toned would be nice, but Average, Stocky is acceptable, Employed men only, no photo, no problem, pension and retirement issues to be discussed.

Men over 50
These men pretty much do not have a stringent list, as long as she is younger than they are and preferably Hot!

The best one from the Pay Dating sites is “women of all ages” who exclusively state, “I am not a paid member” and cannot initiate email contact with you. These non-paying women sneak their email address into their profile, a big NO, NO on these dating sites, which will result in banning them. My first question is this, she is dishonest, not a great way to make a first impression, yet she states in her profile she is looking for a relationship based on honesty and trust? Ookkkayyy, …moving on!

If Vancouver women are serious in meeting a man, you would think they would have the $25.00 to pony up for the monthly membership, especially since certain women request a man make over a 100K. Believe it or not, I had yet to find a man who tried to sneak his email into his profile, yet women do it without reservation, at least 1 profile in 30.

Men certainly savvy in upgrading, more so than women. Come on, you really think aging "Comb over King" Donald Trump could have snagged a hot 20 something wife if he were not rich and powerful?

Profiles to be scared of:

Days filled with “Whine and Roses”
The “What you want to hear” route, with men and women getting all smarmy, warm and kissyface, lonely, and other romantic intentions. Men may be turned off thinking “Clingy and Desperate”.  Women may view a Man’s wishy washy romantic intentions as deceitful, or “Wimpy and Desperate”.

Weights & Measures Act
When it comes to a man or woman to publicly state their weight, well now with Women you are entering dangerous James Bond territory where it gets questionable. The big warning is when they check “Average – a few pounds” can range from 5 pounds to 30 pounds, I guess these people were never too good in Math.

Age-old question
Oh, Puleeze, you really think a woman is going to state this truthfully?
I have seen their photos, some look like Prom Photos taken in the 1970’s.
There are even men who avoid this question like the plague.

Cute from Far, yet far from Cute
Well this is sort of a quandary, never have I seen so many women’s out of focus, or totally darkened unrecognizable photos of women in my life. Not to mention photos taken from like a mile away or worse yet, they are in group photos with other women where you have to guess who she is.
In Quebec, we have a French saying, “Cute from far, yet far from Cute.”

Men on the other hand prefer headshots of themselves, unless they have a physique worthy of a full body shot.

Honesty is the Best Policy
May as well lay it all out on the line right away, they will find out sooner or later. If you state you parachute jump, you better. If you state you like kids, you must, because kids can tell.  To state lies is idiocy and you look like a fool in front of her and both sets of friends.
Why would you lie in the first place? You have nothing to lose but your self-respect and the love of someone you’re with.
Kind of pointless to do otherwise.

Reach out and Scam someone
Really Friggin Hot Women who state they are from your area, yet when going to their profile you find they are from third world countries, another reason not to contact them through their private email which they have hidden in their profile. Identity theft on the web is big business for those who prey on the lovelorn.

Distance doesn’t make the heart grow fonder.
Unless you are committed to traveling the world every weekend to see your true intended, keep it closer to home. Long distance sight unseen relationships don’t work, much less a relationship 30 miles away. So don’t initiate unless you intend to consummate.

Paid Membership has its privileges
Just because you are a “Paid” member, your email to the one you wish to contact in most cases will be received, but not “accessible to read” by the other party if they’re “Not a paid member”.
Most Dating sites get you by “Only paid members can read other paid members emails”. They do have ways of letting you initiate first contact, through a smile or a wink, but to continue contact and to email both parties, you have to become paid members. Credit cards are pretty much the only way to pay online through their secure payment system.

In Ending

Upgrading to a Newer Model
I sort of have a problem with that, you see disposable relationships will bite you in the ass sooner or later as we all age and lifestyles change, keep in mind she as well as you can upgrade on a whim. Both sexes who look to sell themselves by continually upgrading to a newer model are at risk when they don’t read each others manual, not only suffering financial, emotional heartbreak, but health risks as well. Worst case scenarios in annual relationship upgrades could entertain violence when one is not ready to be traded in for a newer model, something both sexes may not have bargained during your initial test drive in the bedroom. Remember your Lover Salesman will never tell you everything.

For the 30+ set Companionate Love should always be the end result to carry you through life. Leave infatuation to the under 30 crowd.

My Final Thought
Generally when it comes to the majority of Men and Women, I find most of these dating profiles sincere enough, full of lovelorn men and ladies looking for someone to love, no hidden agendas, no horse trading, just love and companionship plain and simple.
I have also read posts and chat forums of successful dates and marriages resulting from the World Wide Web of Dating.

Is there any preferred Dating Site over another? It all depends what you’re looking for, like the saying goes, “You get what you pay for, because nothing is free in this world”, except “Love with a Glove”. Just know, out there is an “Ocean of True Lovers”, but beware of those who prefer to live in “The Sea of Shallowness”.

http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/financialpost/smallbiz2007/story.html?id=2f37f546-6628-4c60-a916-374e0351d46a&k=5136"]Markus Frind runs one of North America's most popular dating Web sites, taking in millions of dollars a year, and he does it all by himself from his 900-square-foot apartment in West Vancouver.

There's a simple reason Mr. Frind, 29, has become one of the top players in the US$700-million-a year-online dating industry, competing against rivals with hundreds of employees and huge marketing budgets: automation.

Plentyoffish.com, says Mr. Frind, runs itself. That, and by offering the service for free, he attracted a critical mass of users early in the game.