Charm School Improves Techniques for Picking Up Women

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Charm School for Dorks Helps Men Improve Techniques for Picking Up Women

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NEW YORK (Digital Dementia News Services)  - Ben had a rough Friday night trying to pick up women.  Even the girls working the late, late shift on 42nd Street between 8th and 9th Avenues seemed unapproachable.  After being coldly rejected by two not particularly attractive blonds of questionable gender, Ben decided to call it quits for the night and retreated to his dismal apartment in Queens to strangle the chicken once again.

The 23-year-old documentary filmmaker, who asked his last name not be used for fear of ridicule, suffers from an acute case of "premature ejectulation" -- ejecting himself early from promising conversations with women for fear of rejection.

Such was the diagnosis from the coaches of "Charm School for Dorks Boot Camp," a three-day crash course on seducing women that Ben and five other men paid $1,600 apiece to attend. 

Ben is not the only man with crippling fears when it comes to chatting up women. That's why Charm School for Dorks, run by an Ann Arbor, Michigan-based company called Charismatic Dorks, has no problem finding men who need intense guidance and fieldwork approaching women at places like bookstores, church socials, soup kitchens and bars.

Sam, a stocky, recent college graduate from Boston with shaved head and thick chain around his neck, said he is tired of sleeping with "drunk chicks who just got off the boat from third world countries" and wants to learn how to properly "pursue and attain" the women of his choice, preferably some with fewer tattoos or at least girls who he has reason to believe did not achieve their feminine status at the sharp end of a surgeon’s scalpel.

"This was something I was willing to splurge on," said Tim, who also did not want to give his last name. "I live in a city with millions of women, and I really want to canoodle at least a few of them."

Charismatic Dorks co-founder Dwayne Duchamp explains the program, "We teach guys how to be themselves in a very unnatural environment, how to cold approach women and quickly make them comfortable enough to strip right down to their lip gloss and nail polish upon request.  It’s a handy skill in any man’s repertoire."  

The Charm School for Dorks' lesson plan stays away from canned lines and knock-out drops and instead instructs men to think on their feet when talking to women, to put their insecurities aside and react naturally to a women's subtle cues like blink rates, pupil dilation and pink-part-pucker-factors.

“It’s a simple three step approach,” says Mr. Duchamp.  “First you have to establish that you are being completely sincere and open with her, exposing your true self together with your weaknesses and vulnerabilities.  Next you convey a sincere interest and appreciation in her not simply as a woman and potential sexual playmate, but as a fellow human being, expressing a deep interest in and respect for her own needs, feelings and opinions.  At this stage it is vitally important to maintain a warm and sensitive eye contact as you demonstrate that you are an attentive listener by hanging on her every word and providing appreciative responses to what she has to say no matter how banal.  Once that’s done and you have gained her confidence and trust, then you get her drunk and take her home.  This really isn’t rocket science.” 

THE MORNING AFTER....

After a night approaching women at a bar or club, the instructors hold a debriefing the next morning and go over what the participants did right and wrong.  After the debriefing, Ben agrees that initiating a conversation with a woman by saying, “Hi, my name is Ben.  Can I interest you in some fornication?” just doesn’t cut it with today’s women.  Likewise, his former modus operandi of bringing a laminated copy of his urologist’s report certifying him to once again be “clean as a whistle” is probably sending mostly the wrong signals. 

The program evidently works, even for hard-to-crack cases like Ben.  After only 14 weeks on the program, Ben finally has a confident glow.  He and several other Charm School for Dorks students are partying on the fringes of a drunken bachelorette party full of New Jersey women.  

“OK,” says Ben, “most of the bachelorettes are in their mid- to late-40s and could play on the Pittsburgh Steelers' defensive line, but it’s a start.”