Black and single: Is marriage really for white people?

Mrs. Allen had it all. A career she enjoyed, a nice home, two adorable children and a husband. She shared her tools for success with me at an early age. She went to college, got married and waited until she was 26 to have her first child.

The perfect life. The perfect plan. It was one I decided to model.

My aspirations for both a career and family were set at the age of 12. I knew I could accomplish what Mrs. Allen, my fifth- and seventh-grade teacher, had. But as I approach 30 and measure the goals I had at 12 against the reality of life, the only thing I can check off that list is a college education.

I am a statistic.

And there are millions more like me. Forty-five percent of black women in America have never been married, compared with 23 percent of white women, according to the U.S. Census Bureau's American Community Survey in 2006. Articles like the one published in the Washington Post two years ago could lead me to believe that it's because "Marriage is for White People."

At least statistically. The marriage rate for African Americans has been dropping since the 1960s, and today, we have the lowest marriage rate of any racial group in the United States. In 2001, according to the U.S. Census, 43.3 percent of black men and 41.9 percent of black women in America had never been married, in contrast to 27.4 percent and 20.7 percent respectively for whites. African American women are the least likely in our society to marry. In the period between 1970 and 2001, the overall marriage rate in the United States declined by 17 percent; but for blacks, it fell by 34 percent. Such statistics have caused Howard University relationship therapist Audrey Chapman to point out that African Americans are the most uncoupled people in the country.

Between 1950 and 2000, the percentage of never-married black women doubled, from 20.7% to 42.4%. Some of these women may never marry. However, American women on the whole are also likely to delay marriage and childbirth to attend college and establish careers. In 2000, 73% of all American women in their early 20's had never married, compared with only 36% in 1970, while about 53.7% of black men and women between the ages of 25 and 34 had never been married in 2000. The median age which people first married grew considerably for the total population between 1980 and 2000, from age 25 to 26.8 for men and from 22 to 25.1 for women.