Blue Poo: Diapers as duds and why age is just a number
The grass is always greener. When we’re young, we want to be older. When we’re finally older, we want to be young. How insane is it to spend the first half of our lives pulling every trick in the book to age ourselves – standing on tip toes at fair rides, piling on the makeup for school dances or getting an ID that says “McLovin” then, when we finally reach the officially age-appropriate Promised Land we barely pause to enjoy it before spending the remainder of our lives dumping billions of bucks on little blue pills, hair dye and Botox band-aids to fake out Father Time. Is it really so friggen hard to just enjoy each life stage for what it has to offer?
Well, Huggies has delivered a new ad that, while absolutely hilarious on its own, also happens to stand out as one of the best examples I’ve ever seen of truly appreciating one’s current position on the track of life. Turning one of the most embarrassingly exposed phases of youth into a chance to flex one’s fashion muscles whilst walking the walk of confidence like no other is the work of gods, or Saul Alinsky. No more nightmares about crapping yourself in public ala Charlotte. If only you too could poo in blue.
The commercial opens on two sexy fashionistas chatting it up in an outdoor café. The music spins, and then begins to pound runway style as the wind picks up and their eyes go wide. Suddenly, their hair blows back, mouths fall open and HE appears.
Smash cut to just about the cutest little man-boy you’ve ever seen wearing a button up shirt, stylin’ hair and strolling slo-mo in exclusive denim-look diapers. There’s more. The song lyrics begin: “My diaper is full” - cut to loving close-up shots of new fashion diaper – “Full of chic.”
Yes, you read that right. Full of…chic – perfect. Then – “When it’s a number two, I look like number one.” The walk continues as our little Zoolander continues his cool guy strut across some nameless Italian plaza full of Vespas. Everyone, and I mean everyone – from the more than likely gay Vespa rider to the over-dressed balloon salesman – stares agog at the tiny, fashionable vision before them. Baby walks to his 1960’s Lincoln Continental convertible and is ushered in, Entourage style.
The song continues. “I poo in blue.” Then he turns as the ad freeze-frames on our mini diaper salesman delivering his best “Baby Blue Steel.” The tag tells it all - Limited edition Huggies jean diaper – The coolest you’ll look pooping your pants. Awwwwesome……
To make a baby diaper a fashion statement is pure genius. Full of chic? My God I think I want that on my Facebook feed as of now. That rocks the house. Even the whole limited edition trope – perfect – buy now or lose the chance – forever. And I thought Lagerfeld and Diet Coke was something. This could be the next really big thing. Maybe black patent leather diapers next – or plaid? How about Che Guevera branded? Lord, this could go absolutely insane and personally I can’t wait.
And don’t forget the groundwork this kind of ad is conveniently laying the incontinent years to come of our ever-ruling baby boomers. Can you even imagine the level of fashion accessory an adult diaper could plausibly become? Why stop there. Market to club kids next. Focus on binge drinkers sick of waiting in line at porta-potties. We might even see punks in their early 20’s strapping on dayglo urine catchers for a night out at the raves. Talk about convenient.
No, worrying about anything other than where you’re at right now in this grand game o’ life is for chumps. The cool money takes it slow, enjoying where he’s at and smiling at the journey. Just because he happens to be filling his pants while he does so is simply beside the point.