A BREAK UP LINE THAT WORKS FOR FADED LOVE

In every relationship,there comes a time when one of the lovers sees the light as it were and decides to move on. Most people grapple with the agony of choosing the words to use especially if the break up is not as a result of any given misunderstanding but a desire to move on and discover new lands off the familiar shores or when a distant relationship becomes unattenable due to the sheer distance that does not allow physical closeness. In this case, lovers fear that the first person to complain only shows that he or she was never committed to the relationship in the first place. So the relationship becomes frozen! It is said that such a distant relationship is like a train without engine-still on tracks but going nowhere. Lovers feel frustrated because they now can't commit to a new relationship without feeling like they are betraying this stagnating relationship and yet they can't get the physical fulfilment that is needed to regularly renew and cement it time and time again. Poets say that falling in love is like opening the first bottle of champaigne-making love is like drinking it before it goes flat and loses its flavour.

So,what does one do in such frustrating cases? A lot of lovers try a lot of many different things and lines to avoid a messy break up some that really sound hilarius! Lovers change their phonelines to avoid regular pestering by those unwilling to call it quits. Others refuse to answer the phone only to receive a flurry of emails in their inbox. Others decide not to call and answer the calls in a detached way hoping to send signals that they are no longer excited by the relationship anymore. They also avoid using the once sweet sounding pet names like honey,sweetie etc when texting or emailing the other. All these tricks in my own experience are hopeless and they only help to prolong the agony of the eventual break up and draw in the wrath that was supposed to be avoided in the first place.

What is the main plan then? Here in my view is how to go about it.

Lay down a schedule on how to withdraw without causing rancour to your mate. Don't look for flaws to point in the other person but start highlighting yours! Faking Lack of money works well for Men in a lopsided affair commonly referred to as Sugardaddy!

Don't tell your mate such silly things like you have realised that you are gay! Or you are trying to regain secondary virginity by abstaining. This demeans them as morons who don't have a clue about blatant lies when they hear them. Remember that these are people who once meant the world to you and they know you inside out!

For ladies,avoid ambushing your mate with a silly confession that your parents have arranged a forced marriage with someone who went abroad many years ago and now he is coming back to take you with him after secretly financing your college education thro your parents! Its not fair especially to sugar daddies who have taken you to hanging joints that young men could not afford for you!

So much about what we should not do but what about that Break up line?

Here is one I used recently to end a failing long distance relationship with someone half my age who had a crush on me as her tutor.

At my middle age,I knew that there was not much to offer in as far as commitment to a long relationship was concerned being already a taken man by my present marriage. So when this girl moved to a campus in Eldoret 188 miles from my station in Nairobi,I faked an illness,said I had tonsils. Two months and three weeks later. I decided to pay her an unnounced visit as I attended a call of duty in a near by campus. She was furious when I told her that I was on the way at midnight to her place. I calmed her down by letting her know that I had other things to attend to and I only wanted to say hi. She called over the day to ask how I was doing and of course to harass me about my unanounced visit. Then I laid my ace card on the table by texting her to say that I have been diagnosed with throat cancer that I had mistaken for tonsils. Oh my! You should have seen her when she came to my room! She kept a distance not wanting to kiss a cancerous mouth(most people don't know that cancer is NOT infectious!). I explained to her that I was due for an operation in three weeks time and I was pessimistic about my chances of pulling through. And that is why I had decided to come all the way to bid her goodbye just in case I don't make it. To add to It, I said that my wife was also leaving me to test her commitment to a helpless man and she hit the roof saying that she can help me in all other ways but she will have no hand on my divorce before or after. In other words she won't be willing to take my wife's place-not with a sick dying man!

Man! Did I buy my freedom? CHEAP and no husles! The last time she called was to make sure that I was safely back to my wife's hands and safely many miles away from her. Did I hurt her? Judge me!