Buckeye Fight Song

“Chapter 8

Trip to Betty Radcliffe’s

 

In mid October 2007, I knew that Maureen wanted to visit her mother, Ruth Elizabeth (Betty) Radcliffe before winter. There was a window in both our schedules where we could take off a few days. It takes 10 hours of driving each way from Washington DC to Cincinnati Ohio, so we tack that on each end of a three-day stay. The mountains in between are beautiful, though can become problematic at Frostburg Maryland when snow arrives early at 2000 feet or so.

 

Betty is in her 90’s and an amazingly strong and thought-filled woman. We have an extraordinarily close relationship: mother-in-law and son-in-law.

 

Maureen and I have a few stops that we like along the trip, including the Creamery in Cumberland Maryland, and Cherokee Trading Post in Wheeling West Virginia. Now, with my medical problem, I must take more bathroom breaks than I used to.

 

Of course, everyone knows everything about men of my age. All they have to do is watch television during the news or sports programs to witness that we can’t sleep at night because we are constantly visiting the bathroom. We have sexual dysfunction. We have bowel movement irregularities. We have hypertension. And the cure for all of these things often has harmful or disruptive side affects about which we must once again ask our pharmacist and see our doctor.

 

There is simply too much information out there, and it does not stop with men. There is too much information about women’s ailments as well, and even reality shows featuring their before and after liposuctions and other plastic surgery. Good grief.

 

We arrived at Twinlakes in Montgomery Ohio to see Betty. She was ready for us with dinner. We always tell her not to prepare dinner, but she will do it anyway. During this trip, we wanted to take her shopping and to go to dinner where Collin, one of my nephews is working. It looked like a routine visit this fine autumn when the leaves are turning.

 

Well, I did not feel real well, but good food from this village on the northern edge of Cincinnati, featuring the Spring House, Montgomery Ribs, and many others might pick me up.

 

No such luck. The protein and wine did not go over well during these days, but I endured by trying to keep up with the shopping and injecting nap time.

 

After a joyous family meal with Betty at Germano’s restaurant where Collin made a special appearance at the table, I went back to the guest room and paid the price for my indulgence all through the night. My kidney was coming apart, and I did not know it.

 

The next morning, it was time to leave on the 10 hour trip back. I wanted so much to get to my doctor. We departed with Maureen driving as I could not do it. I had to make pit stops every 20 minutes. This would not work for 10 hours, so we decided to return to Betty’s to see if I would get better. I did improve enough to try the trip again. I was struggling, and in my mind, I thought, this might be cancer. I thought about my mother. I sensed her helping me through this, during the trip home.

 

Maureen was wonderful in helping me, not only driving, but getting me in and out of the car. She gave me words of encouragement while driving this great distance. My body eventually stabilized and we reached home.

 

The next day, I went to the doctor and scheduled a trip to the urologist. He scheduled an Uroscan from which the results would come in several days. Dr. Mordkin called to tell me that the Uroscan revealed a tumor and that I should come to the office with my wife for consultation. Both fearful, we arrived, Maureen in tears, to learn about the bad news and the good news.

 

Bad news was that it was a tumor in the kidney that was most likely cancer. It had to come out. Good news was that it did not appear elsewhere and I have a good functioning kidney as a spare. Prognosis was good that Dr. Mordkin could remove it and I could get rid of the disease.

 

I Skyped my daughter in London and told her the news.  We Skype every morning while we have breakfast she has lunch. We place the computer on the table in her space and it is like having her here.

 

Without a moment of hesitation, she was on her way to the States to care for her Dad. Maureen just started a new job, and it would be a tremendous assist to have Mary on board. She is such an inspiration and as full of advice as her Grandmother.

 

November 1st 2007 I arrived at the Virginia Hospital Center for my surgical appointment. Mary and Maureen both accompanied me. We arrived at the processing station from which I was admitted, changed into a gown and laid on a gurney. I felt terrible and wondered to myself if I would make it.

 

 I asked for my sketch book, pen, and paints and sketched them. Then they each took turns sketching me. I was feeling pretty bad, but we were determined to be the artists that we all are.

 

[Paintings]

 

Soon, they rolled me into anesthesia and began dripping medication into my veins that I could taste on my lips. I was still alert, though fading fast. I saw doctors Mordkin and Joel. Knowing that Mordkin was a USC graduate, and touting my Ohio State Buckeye fan-hood, I sang the Buckeye Fight Song. Then, I was out.

 

Surgery was successful. I awoke to see Maureen. My heart was fluctuating as I was unstable. I moaned to her that “I am sick.” She scratched my head, and I immediately stabilized.

 

I remember pondering what Dr. Mordkin had told to me, “You did nothing to cause this cancer. You could have done nothing to prevent it. We cannot even say that it is in your genes. It just happens.”

 

What a predicament. Probably most things happen in life this way. We think that we have control, yet the only thing over which we have any is own behavior, if that.

 

In three weeks, I would return to my work as a consultant, and I could get back to work on this book. So, here we are, Could Be Over Before It Has Begun.

 

It isn’t over, yet I have a renewed sense of purpose. When you face the possibility that the end may be now, it is time to increase productivity and to get this quest accomplished.

 

This was a very special time. Mary came back home from London to look after me. Maureen has a wonderful job at National Geographic Magazine to keep us going. My client is empathetic. All is well.

 

I received so much encouragement from my very closest friends and relatives. I was prepared to have my ashes deposited into a sculpture made for me by my niece, artist, Molly Souders. It is a rectangular ceramic crab pot with a lid, decorated with fish and seafood phrases as I love seafood, and we all love Molly and her fired interpretations of life.

Molly made reference in a get well card to “hoping that I see the white light eventually, if that is what you want.” I know what she means as this is a way of allowing anyone to experience their spirituality any way that they wish. I love an oblique thinker as that is a way to get close to the inner and outer limits of our capacity as humans to create. We are the product of creation and creation is our unique ability, I believe.”