Charlie Sheen Gets Roasted as "Two & a Half Men" Season Premieres

Airing in competition with the season premiere of his former show "Two and a Half Men," Charlie Sheen drew out a full slate of stars as his Comedy Central Roast aired on Monday night (September 19).

The 46-year-old actor nonchalantly sat in his chair as names such as Seth MacFarlane, William Shatner, Mike Tyson, Kate Walsh, Steve-O and Jon Lovitz took their turns poking fun at his wild and crazy doings.

In the end, Sheen took to the podium, telling the audience, "I did porn stars, I did drugs, I had my own TV show and then I did what all the people in America wish they could do - I told my boss to f*** off. Then it was gone, in one fiery public flame out. And it was only when the smoke cleared, I realized just how lucky I am."

To close things out, Charlie said of his family not being in attendance, "They have seen me in jail, they have seen me rushed to emergency rooms, they've seen me dragged to court, but seeing me on basic cable would kill them."

He added, "I am done with winning because I have already won. This roast may be over, but I'm Charlie Sheen. In here burns an internal fire. I just have to remember to keep it away from a crack pipe."

Though he's been done with his “Two and a Half Men” gig since getting fired this spring, Charlie Sheen hasn’t received his settlement from Warner Bros just yet.

According to a TMZ source, the “Men at Work” actor will receive a cool $25 million from the studio for monies owed him for the work he already performed and the profits already accrued.

And while that sounds like a nice chunk of change, it’s nothing compared to what he’ll get over the upcoming years.

Given his 180 episodes for the show, Charlie stands to bank an additional $100 million by the time everything is said and done.

Meanwhile, just as his roast aired on Monday night, so did the season premiere of “Two and a Half Men" starring Ashton Kutcher.

According to a report, 27.7 million viewers tuned in for the show, a massive leap from last season’s finale at 14.6 million.

Additionally, Kutcher's debut also garnered a 10.3 rating in the 18-49 demographic, and a 12.2 rating for 25-54.

Kutcher replaces Charlie Sheen whose character Charlie Harper was killed by a speeding subway train. Ashton plays a dispirited internet billionaire who moves into Harper’s house.

Ironically, the night before their big TV gigs, Charlie Sheen and Ashton Kutcher bumped into each other at the 2011 Emmy Awards.

Caught on camera by Jeremy Piven while backstage, the “Punk’d” stud and the “Hot Shots” star seem to have had quite a very friendly interaction.

After they’d exchanged some friendly words, both actors took to their respective Twitter accounts to show some love.

Kutcher wrote, “@charliesheen good to meet you too. Wishing you the best on your new gig,” and Sheen replied, “We’ll all be watching! Make us proud!!” referring to Ashton’s replacement of Charlie on “Two and a Half Men.”

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