Clouseau interviews Cousin Eddie in Chasen case
Having left Larry Cohen’s Beverly Hills home, Inspector Clouseau was perplexed. He was handed evidence by the Beverly Hills’ police chief that said the $10,000 Harold Martin Smith was to receive resulted from a civil suit and not payment for assassination; therefore Smith had no motive.
The Inspector is known for leaving no suspicious avenues without inspection and therefore booked a flight to Vancouver where he continued fact gathering, interviewing Randy Quaid aka Cousin Eddie. With assistance from the Royal Mounted Police, Inspector Clouseau was blind-folded and taken by horseback to an undisclosed log cabin where he was led to a sofa next to the fireplace.
His blind fold was removed revealing Cousin Eddie and his wife Evi.
INSPECTOR CLOUSEAU: So you must be Cousin Eddie and you are wife Evi and there, come here pooch, here pooch. (The pooch comes to the Inspector’s side, tail wagging.)
EVI: His name is Doji. (Said very slowly and with a mock French accent)
INSPECTOR CLOUSEAU: Doji, I am very comfortable with Doji. A person with a doggie like doji cannot be bad. Ha, ha, ha. (Chuckling) Now, Eddie, I have a few questions.
COUSIN EDDIE: (Interrupting the Inspector) Ronni Chasen was killed by Russian Star Whackers, I am convinced. They are after us. I made movies and always they were behind the scenes controlling my interest, taxing my profits on the sweat of my labor as an actor. You know, Cousin Eddie is really a character as I am Randy Quaid.
ROYAL MOUNTY: Please, Eddie, let the Inspector ask his questions. He has ridden a long way.
INSPECTOR CLOUSEAU: Did you engage Russian investors for the making of any of your films? Did Ronni Chasen ever act as your publicity agent? Did you ever do drugs with Jill Gatsby? How well do you know Larry Cohen? Do you know Melissa Cohen? Are you going to pay for the broken mirror?
COUSIN EDDIE: Whoa, hold on their partner, I can’t answer all of the questions at once.
“Ronni Chasen murder: 'Suspect' Harold Martin Smith may not be involved in publicist's slay, say cops BY ALIYAH SHAHID
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER Saturday, December 4th 2010, 10:43 AM It turns out a "suspect" who killed himself earlier this week after reportedly bragging about offing an A-list Hollywood publicist may not have been involved in the grisly slaying after all. Harold Martin Smith, a 43-year-old ex-con, fatally shot himself in the seedy lobby of his Santa Monica apartment on Wednesday, as cops approached him about Ronni Chasen's murder. Beverly Hills Police Department spokesman Lt. Tony Lee said there is a possibility that Smith has no ties to the publicist, who was found shot to death in her Mercedes Benz last month. "At this time, it is unknown if this individual was involved in the Chasen homicide," Lee said. Cops were reportedly acting on a tip they received from the Fox show "America's Most Wanted" when they confronted Smith. Terri Gilpin, a neighbor in the low-rent Harvey Apartments, said Martin had bragged about been paid $10,000 to kill Chasen. "You know that lady on TV?" she quoted him as saying. "That publicist? I did it, I did it." Smith, who has an extensive criminal rap sheet that includes felony burglary and drug possession, was released from prison in 2007 and discharged from parole last year. There is an outstanding warrant for his arrest on an unrelated misdemeanor charge. He told neighbors that he never wanted to return to jail. John Nazarian, a former sheriff's deputy who has investigated homicide cases, speculated that Smith knew he was in trouble no matter what he told cops. "He's going to go back to prison, for life probably. So he just decided to check out," Nazarian said. The latest twist to the case comes as TMZ published details of Chasen's will in which she left just $10 to one of her relatives. Chasen, 64, was shot three times in the chest and twice in the shoulder in Beverly Hills as she drove her luxury car home from a party after attending a glitzy premiere of the movie "Burlesque." No motive has been released, and cops said they are still investigating the case. With News Wire Services firstname.lastname@example.org
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