The Game of Life

by AdFool | July 1, 2011 at 10:54 am

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Consumerism (and therefore, by extension, it’s herald - advertising) is locked deep inside our modern DNA. At a baseline, we are all humans which mean that if we want to prolong life we are required to consume. This is simply reality. It cannot be plausibly denied or ever truly escaped. We might be able to slow it, or even limit it in certain specific or non-linear ways, but by and large if you want to live, you must consume. And to consume you gotta be able to find, and get, what you need.

Now, in our Neanderthal past, the ability to survive was clearly governed by the size of your fists or the thickness of your head. That is, if you could pound the crap out of others (or take a pounding) you were likely to acquire all you needed to subsist come the end of each nasty, brutish day. Moving forward, we have managed to erase much of the need for such daily violence in our supposedly kinder and gentler world – which is a good thing because who really enjoys getting smacked upside the head with the ankle bone of some long-dead dinosaur? Not me. So I’m thrilled to exist in a world of jobs, paychecks and two-way consumerism. But make no mistake - the hunter remains. It’s only the skill-sets that have changed.

So I have little time for those claiming a dislike (or even hatred) of advertising. If they were being truthful they’d have to admit they couldn’t go two steps in a day without ads telling them where to find what they wanted and how to go about getting it. The era of the classic hunter may be over but modern survival requires the sort of depth and knowledge that only advertising can provide. And when it comes to proof of my contention, I ask you to look no further than that most perfect of modern survivalist shows, The Price is Right.

That’s right. I said The Price is Right. Survivor is nice and all but how often are you going to be stranded on some deserted island with a bunch of weirdos from Central Casting? More likely is that you’ll find yourself wandering the cavernous aisles of some gargantuan Wal-Mart utterly clueless as to whether or not the sale price they have on Pringles is worth popping on or not. The Price is Right was made for this.

Named by TV Guide as the “greatest game show of all time” The Price is Right rewards the skills required in our current consumer world like no other program or course of study anywhere. Since its inception, The Price is Right has excelled at making winners out of those diligent enough to read store fliers and watch commercials. From Bob Barker to Drew Carey, they have equipped several generations with the tools to survive and prosper in a confusing, ad-saturated world.

Our ancestors had to know what forest path held the greatest chance at scoring some meal success. They needed to know which water hole was the one that made them sick or not. Thanks to The Price is Right and games like The Range, Safe Crackers, Cliff Hangers and Hole in One entire Nations can be educated with ease, teaching the kind of survival skills their citizens will actually use.

And don’t get me started on games like Deal or No Deal. The idea that “Pick a number” will ever have any value to anyone, at any time in history is laughable. Perhaps trying to look thoughtful while you debate whether or not to choose Case #23 held by the large breasted blond or Case #12 held by the small- breasted blond is something but I seriously doubt it.

And Jeopardy is almost as bad. Populated by people you would normally fake a seizure to get away from at a party, Jeopardy makes stars out of trivia obsessed nerds so wrapped up with inane displays of knowledge that they even reversed the order of the game to force themselves to answer in the form of a question. How a group of geeks can take a game dedicated to ensuring their personal alienation and make it even more impenetrable is a mystery for the ages. It’s like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory invented it specifically to repel the female of the species.

We need advertising. It’s the scat on the path to our most treasured rewards. We want stuff and we need stuff. Advertising will lead the way – and The Price is Right stands ready to help. Dismiss it as pap or low-brow entertainment if you will but know this: the only game being played at The Price is Right is the game of life – and it matters, a lot.