Culture

He Takes Her Breath Away...

by usakos | October 13, 2008 at 07:55 am

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"He takes her hand in his, gazes into her eyes, and says everything he feels about her with no words. he draws closer to her, and he feels her breath grow faster.

He kisses her. she feels like she is flying. she wants to stay in this moment forever. he knows he loves her. she never wants to leave him. they could face the world together.

she finally knows what it's like... and he finally has someone to share that with" (cheLLe2taLL).

Do these things still exist?

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Terri Potratz

flagged this story as Needs Improvement

at 08:04 on October 13th, 2008

usakos, I think your story has potential but needs some improvement. I've got a few suggestions, and if you give them a try, I'd be happy to remove this flag.

I wasnt sure what was newsworthy in this story. News should always be about posting current stuff - new things you've discovered.

Please review What Makes News News. It can really help if you follow the old "W5" news formula -- making sure you have answered the questions: Who? What? Where? When? And Why? (You might want to check out our J-Tips for more help.)