homeless day 21
master_jim2008 | June 24, 2008 at 05:19 pmby
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"Just wanted you to know that your online diary has caused me to reflect on what I have and what I may lose. In October '07 I had a back operation that went wrong leaving me with the chronic pain condition arachnoiditis. I faced never working again and but for the grace of God I am working fulltime again for now. I thank God everyday that I have my job as most people with this condition live with intractable pain and are unable to work. Your story gives me a lot strength as I am really encouraged by the help that some of your friends or strangers have given you. Please keep blogging if you can and know that my prayers and our Lord are with you! God bless!"
i told this person that i write, despite some critics, for people like you, and for others who may be on the edge of losing it all. generally these are the kinds of personal messages i get about my writings. for those of you who are critical of my posts, no one is forcing you to read them, so why bother being critical? if even one person receives comfort, joy or inspiration or some other good from my posts, i'm going to continue them.
the car is still holding up, the overflow tank was still at the filled mark. i went to the post office and ran into a pastor i know, and we had a nice long chat about how to hear the voice of God, or at least know that the path we're on is one he wants us to take rather than it just being our own wishful thinking. you have to understand, that for me to even ask such a question is a major step for me. being raised in a religion that some have branded a cult, and for so many decades, straddling the fence in whether or not there even IS God, and for so long being on the total disbelieving side of that fence, it took the events of the last few days for me to even fathom asking such a question of a pastor.
i went to get something to eat, and refill my prescriptions. i priced sleeping bags, yet i'm now not sure i want one, as the new tactic i tried last night with the blankets seemed to work quite nicely. i stayed quite warm even in the funny position i have to sleep in. i filled my Rx 7 day a.nm./p.m. box. i can't believe i have to take 6 pills in the morning and 3 at night.
i came back to my resting place. when you're like me, and sun is not your friend, it's all about shade, and by the time i got back here, my spot was nicely shaded and comfortable. i want some ice cream!!! but i still can't hold the container and dip it out. i know that was random, but.....it's the little things you miss when homeless. thing you took for granted that you could do anytime, like go the freezer and dish up some ice cream. one thing i will miss is umpqua brand ice cream. it isn't available on the east coast. i'll also miss in-n-out burgers, also a west coast thing. and round table pizza. but my friend back there assures me she'll show me some good alternatives.
one thing i do miss is watching CNN all the time, because this political race is probably the most crucial in american history. not since the flack about whether or not to elect a catholic (kennedy) has there been this much interest in a presidential race, and never before have we had so much to lose if obama isn't elected. so this race i am following at all costs.
my fingers for some reason today are hurting a lot. it makes me wonder if i should go back to the ER and see if something moved as far as the pins are concerned.
assuming i don't go to the ER, the rest of the night should be pretty uneventful.
i should say something about faith and fear. i have faith that i'll get to NC with most or all my stuff, but it's the fear of leaving without a safety net that is the hardest part. i don't care to see california ever again, but the sense of adventure, just taking off and not looking back, is the hard part. not knowing just how i'll be surviving from day to day is the worry that i just have to turn over to God. under optimal circumstances (having enough gas) it's only a 5-6 day trip, but it's a trip of uncertainty at this stage. we'll just have to see what is in store for me, won't we?
homeless tips: if you have to sleep in your car, put pillows, blankets or something like that in the back window. not only does it help create privacy, but keeps the cold from the glass from making the car so cold inside. i cover all windows with pillows or blankets, even here at my secure resting place. it gets down into the 30s here at the coldest part of the night. and always sleep with socks on if not pants too. if you have the privacy to undress, skin against skin will keep you the warmest, but socks will help keep heat in, as well as maybe a stocking (watch) cap. also, believe it or not pantyhose will keep you warn, even for guys. i have not tried it, but i know soldiers on patrol in iraq sometimes wear them to stay warm, and i know you ladies can vouch for their ability to keep you warmer.
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