Job in a box
Living the life of Job.. In a box? Join the club.
No, this article is not about jobs or employment. Job, the Biblical Job, was tortured by Satan as a kind of test. The test was not really about his faith in God; it was about whether or not Job would curse God because of his successive ailments. At the moment, there's an icepick being driven into my left ear because of an infection. It's six o'clock in the morning and of course – I cannot sleep. My ear keeps draining fluid so that I must 'sleep' with some paper towel under it. The fluid builds up and there is intense pressure and pain. My eardrum is ruptured from previous 'accidents' (my ex used to beat me up periodically and broke my ear three times) so the fluid eventually releases in 'pleasant' drips – now – down my neck onto the paper towel. What a fun life.
I had a shot from the family doctor – supposedly 'the strongest available'. I'm also on oral and ear-drop antibiotics but nothing seems to help. It only seems to get worse. It's been three days now with constant draining. Probably I'll lose a good portion of my hearing in that ear (in addition to the drum being broken three times by my ex). Again, what a 'wonderful' life. But that's not the worst of it.
For four years, a wonderful neighbor girl has given me her indescribable smiles and unfathomable gazes periodically. For her own privacy and that of her family, I'll call her “G” for goddess. During those four years, G has consistently flung her innocence, sweetness, and budding femininity toward me unreservedly. The only analogy that immediately comes to mind is taking a diode and wire, plugging those into a wall socket, and attempting to charge a regular battery that way. If you're lucky, it won't explode in your hands. That's how she makes me feel with her smiles and gazes.. Okay, if you're a man, you might 'get it'. :P If you're a woman, maybe next life, if you come back as a man, you might get it.
Fairly recently, something has changed. Since I'm not privy to the gossip floating around the neighborhood, I can only guess what happened. Three times in a row, G saw me and ran inside her house – as if her mom said “When you see Sam, get inside; I don't want you talking to him.” Wow. What was my 'crime'? Looking at her? Receiving her smiles? If you're curious about her age but have not read any of my previous articles, read them. Love is free. Love is love. Love knows no boundaries. Love is never wrong. It's how you express it that might get you into trouble.
With G and any other girl I have interacted with, I believe I have never interacted inappropriately or without respect toward the girl and her family. It's just the way I am. (Drip drip drip.. What fun times!) Icepick. Wow.. “I curse God!” Nothing happened.. Perhaps Satan knows my loyalty and allegiance will always be with God and any 'curse' is simply 'lip service' pretending to 'give in'.. :P ^^ Fuck Satan. Really. With a fist-sized icepick. :P
Losing G cannot kill my love for God. An icepick being driven into my ear cannot make me lose my love for God. Losing hearing in my left ear cannot make me love God any less .. Remember, my ex used to beat me up .. What's an icepick in my left ear compared to that? Fuck you Satan. Eat shit, fuck off, and die. :P ..G won't smile at me anymore? Won't fling her unfathomable gazes toward me anymore? That's life .. There are other goddesses that love me anyways.. And even if you convince them to give up on me and I'm completely alone on this planet, I still have my Goddess living in my heart. She's always there. She'll never let me down. Curse God? Fuck you Satan. I'd rather die with God in my heart than curse Her.. (Drip drip drip..) Ain't life fun? ^^ :P