John McCain's Dog Sarah Palin Gets Her Revenge on Me.

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John McCain's Dog Sarah Palin Gets Her Revenge on Me.

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It is now quite some time after the election.

Yet some people still have McCain/Palin signs in their yard.

This is the true, yet unbelievable story of some of those people... and their crazy dog.

First let me say that my wife and I are animal lovers. We have two little dogs in the house, as well as two spoiled cats, who come and go as they please, we being to them nothing more than their personal door openers.

Plus we have one yard dog - the gentlest big dog you can imagine - half chow and half labrador - a dog who never barks or growls except under one condition: if someone or something enters his domain, our fenced in back yard.

When that happens, he raises hell.

And it did happen, last Saturday night. About one thirty AM. All hell broke loose. He started barking, the two house dogs started barking, the neighbors two dogs started barking, even the two cats were barking.

Something was in our back yard.

Now this is something that happens only once every several years.  But it does happen. Our nextdoor neighbor once saw a deer in his yard early one morning... and even a small bear had been sited near some garbage cans once, long before I got married (Oh, bear, why didn't you eat me?)

Being naturally lazy, and continually working every day to improve my skill in that area, I just continued to lay in bed, thinking, "this too, shall pass."

It didn't. It went on ten, twenty minutes.

But I wasn't going outside. Was it a prowler? Nothing I have outside is worth getting killed over - (well, maybe my ten speed bike)  so I just laid there.

Finally it stopped. And I thought, ok, that's it for another two years. I was just glad I didn't have to work the next day, as it is always hard for me to go back to sleep after having been awakened.

The next day was Sunday, and in the afternoon I was doing what every good American should do on a Sunday afternoon: Taking a nap.

My wife was in the kitchen, evidently looking out the window, and suddenly she shouted out, "Oh, my God, there's a big dog in our backyard!"

I threw on some jeans and a t-shirt (imagine a non-Joe the plumber in flip-flops)  and ran out the side door and into the backyard.

There I came face to face with a lean, mean, tall, brown dog - part boxer, part bull... pretty scary.

We looked each other in the eye. He was not afraid. I was.

When he saw I was no threat he continued his about his business... which appeared to be the amourous pursuit of my dog - even though mine is a neutered male.

My dog was not interested in this so I started shouting at the other dog, who decided to leave, if for no other reason than all the noise I was making was hurting his ears.

I saw where it went out, a hole dug under my fence. I put two heavy concrete blocks in the hole.

But I had the feeling, this was not over.

He came back as it started to get twilight. He was in my fence again. I felt I had to do something or it might be another sleepless night... and a bad day at work tomorrow.

Animal Control was closed on Sunday, so I called the police. One came out quickly and I explained the situation... and that the dog was still in my backyard.

He did some amazing detective work (asked kids on a go cart if they knew where the dog came from) and sped off in his cruiser, returning ten minutes later with the dog's owner.

Foolish me, I would have thought the guy would have come for his dog with a collar and a leash, but he did not. He just came in, opened the gate, and let the dog run out. He apologized... and left.

I told my daughter, "That dog will be back."

And it was back, this time about two in the morning, arriving to the Fourth of July explosion of noise and firecrackers by all our dogs and neighbor's dogs.

This time I got up and went out, just in time to see him returning toward home at a leisurely jaunt. It was just his midnight stroll evidently.

I walked around the house in the cold and dark and saw that he had moved the concrete blocks with his bare paws.

I was up against Super Dog.

He was back the next day, and I called Animal Control and told them the story  and basically where I thought the dog was from. They said they thought they knew the one. They had had trouble with the people's other dog, a white one, before.  They threw in that the woman there was hard to deal with, but they might be able to talke to the husband. They said they would be right out. I said when? They said, "We're on our way."

But the dog wanted to leave before they got there. I didn't want him to. I got between him and the way he wanted to go. He stopped and looked at me. It was going to be a battle of wits and will.

He came a few steps forward and I backed up a few steps.  We repeated this for a hundred yards, til we came to an intersection. Then... I stood my ground. He would go this way no further.

He thought it out.  Then he turned around and went up another road. Until he disappeared. I stood where I was and waited, wanting to be there when Animal control quickly got there, so I could show them which way he went.  After all, it was only about three miles. How much longer could that possibly take when they were already "on their way."

Twenty minutes passed. Thirty minutes. I stayed. I don't like to give up. They must have been coming from Wasilla.

Suddenly something caught my eye to my extreme left. It was the dog. He had outsmarted me. He had gone up the road, crossed over somewhere, came back close to the tree/houseline, and slipped around and past me.

I could almost hear him laughing at me.

I wasn't going to take that... so I followed  him home.

He crawled under a fence near a dumpy house with a big, big yard.

And in the front yard of the house were not one, but two McCain/Palin signs.

That spoke volumes to me.

It was suddenly all beginning to make sense. I was being punished.

I turned around and went home.

That night the dog came again. And the next morning it came again.

And more mornings and nights after that.

I began to realize again, this was karma. I was being paid back for being so adamantly vocal against McCain and Palin.

I drove over to the house. I parked by the gate and honked my horn. A woman came out. I said, "Can I please speak to your husband."  She said, "He's not here."  She said, "I'd come out, but my hair's all wet." I said, "Can you please tell him to fix his fence," that his dog keeps waking me up every night coming in my yard.

She said she would tell him.

He came over in an hour and asked if I had called Animal Control on him because they had left a note  in his mailbox. I said I had. He said that was going to cause a lot of problems for him. Evidently he had been through this before.

He said he had lived there thirty years and had never had any problem. I told him I had lived there eighteen and that I need my sleep every night.

He said he had called the fence repairman and to call him if the dog came back.

The dog came back an hour after he left. I looked his name up in the phone book and called him. Twice. Got an answering machine both times. (The phone book said he lived in another town - so much for living in the same place for thirty years).

The dog came back that night in a blaze of noisy glory - imagine the first night time shock and awe bombing of Baghdad..

The next morning I called and told his machine, "I don't want to do it, but if your dog is still coming in my fenced in backyard by this coming Monday, I am going to let Animal Control set a trap for it in my back yard."

That seemed to work. The dog stopped coming... in the night time.

It still comes at will in the day time. 

The best I can figure they lock it up somewhere at night, and let it run wild in the day time.

As an animal lover, I can live with that. Just let me get my sleep.

But I still believe...

It is McCain and Palin's way of paying me back.

But I also know, Obama winning is worth it. No matter what I have to go through...with Sarah  Palin.

For that is what I have found myself calling this dog that continually disturbs my days and some of my past nights... and I'm sure will be around for a long time in the future.

Because I know we will not be able to permanently get rid of Sarah. None of us will. She will be here causing a disturbance every day, as often as she can... until 2012.

Getting richer and richer with book and movie deals...

And I also have no doubt...

That if that had been my dog digging under the fence into her back yard...

It would have been shot (from a helicopter) and field dressed.

No questions asked. No Animal Control needed.

"You betcha!" 

Oh for the days when my only problem was our cat catching it's tail on fire swishing it in front of a lighted candle while my daughter petted her head.

I'll be ok... as long as the dog doesn't wink at me.