Lost Recap Season 5 Finale: Season 6 Seems Far Away

SPOILER ALERT

The Lost Season 5 Finale "The Incident" ended with a bang. The sort of bang that one would associate with a hydrogen bomb dropped onto a region of electromagnetic instability. So, a pretty big bang. What happens now? We'll have to tune in to Season 6-- next year, i.e. 2010-- to find out.

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Juliet's detonation of the device-- the final moment of the season-- wasn't the only earth-shaking occurrence. We also learn that the steel box that Ilana's been lugging around contains John Locke's body. Hang on: so who's that smugly leading the Others to Jacob's abode? And hang on: is that really even Locke's body in the box? Oh, and hang on: didn't they end last season with a Locke's-body reveal, too?

Also, we finally find out who Jacob is... Jacob is Rita's ex-husband from Dexter. 

So what happens next? Did the destruction of the hatch lead to Oceanic Flight 815 never crashing? If so, what happens to those displaced in time? Do they keep on truckin' down their respective timelines, or are they instantaneously transported back to the moment of the initial crash, caused when Desmond failed to press the button ("Sorry, brotha")? Oh, and would Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Sayid, Hurley, and Miles have been incinerated by the hydrogen bomb? After all, that's what hydrogen bombs do. Oh, and how did Juliet survive the plunge down the giant drill-hole? Oh, yeah. She's a ninja. Meanwhile, Kate is still a total pain in the butt. Some things (unlike the island's position in space and time) are unchanging.

Previously, on Lost:

Stuff is blowing up. More in the morning. If you were watching tonight, then you already know about Jacob, and where Sawyer's heart lies, and Hurley got on the plane, and what's in the steel box that Ilana's pseudo-sherpas are hauling around. If you weren't watching, then you don't.

Tonight is the Lost Season 5 finale. For those new to the show, get ready for a bit of a recap:

Previously, on Lost:

Season 1: The suspiciously-telegenic survivors of Oceanic Airlines Flight 815 find themselves on a deserted Hawaii-like island. Jack finds himself portrayed by Matthew Fox, and not by Michael Keaton as originally intended. Also, he survives the pilot episode, which wasn't originally part of the plan. Anyway, the survivors find themselves beset by a polar bear, a smoke monster, an insane frenchwoman, and a band of mysterious "others" as they struggle to overcome their own infighting. Shannon is annoying, but not as annoying as Kate. John Locke is creepy, but also awesome. 

Season 2: We find out that another group of survivors has eked out a precarious existence elsewhere on the island. They're led by Michelle Rodriguez, who kicks everyone's ass. No, really. She does. Her scowl makes Ice Cube look like Jim Carrey. Anyway, the two groups end up combining amid a (tropical) climate of mutual mistrust. Shannon gets shot by Michelle Rodriguez. Unfortunately, Kate does not. Also, the hatch: Locke becomes convinced he must press a button on a computer terminal every 108 minutes, or the world will end. Desmond says, "Good luck, brotha."

Season 3: It's all about the Others, who live in a sort of Edward-Scissorhands town, keeping several Lostaways hostage in bear cages. Jack does some surgery on Ben, the Others' leader. Juliet makes Jack sandwiches. Jack holds Ben's kidney hostage to secure Kate's and Sawyer's escape. What could possibly go wrong? Oh. John Locke blows up the submarine.

Desmond can see the future. He tells Charlie, "You're gonnae die, brotha."

Jack leads the castaways to a radio tower to send a signal to a waiting freighter. Charlie and Desmond dive down to a hidden Dharma station to disable a blocking signal. That Russian dude with the eyepatch is, like, indestructible. Charlie uses his musical skillz to get a signal to Penny, Desmond's girlfriend. Charlie dies, brotha. 

Season 4:  The freighter does not belong to Desmond's girlfriend! A science team made up of a lovably scatterbrained theoretical physicist, a psychic, and a somewhat-irritating anthropologist parachute onto the island. The lucky ones encounter Jack and Kate. The unlucky one encounters John Locke and Ben. It's revealed that the island has... certain... time-altering properties, according to Daniel Faraday, the lovably scatterbrained physicist.

The freighter's mission is not to rescue the Lostaways... it's to kill Ben! Keamy, the deranged-yet-cool paramilitary guy (who also played a deranged thug in 3:10 to Yuma) is wired with a bomb trigger to blow up the freighter in case anything goes wrong, like, you know, Michael stowing away to sabotage the whole thing at Ben's behest. All sorts of sh&t blows up, the insane frenchwoman and her daughter, who Ben stole, are blown away, as is the frenchwoman's daughter's annoying boyfriend. Ben is not amused, and kills Keamy, who blows up the freighter. All sorts of people die. The main characters survive. This is when things get weird.

Season 5: People start jumping around in time and almost running into themselves. Their noses start bleeding, and the annoying anthropologist dies, which sucks for Daniel Faraday, because he loved her. Not only does Richard, the Others' advisor, wear lots of eyeliner, he's also apparently immortal. Sawyer, the psychic and Juliet get stuck in the 1970's. Sawyer and Juliet hook up.  Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sayid, and Sun end up coming back to the island after making a series of dumb-ass choices. Ben tries to kill Penny, but Desmond kicks his ass. Nice. Ben kills John Locke, who teleported off the island by fixing a broken wooden wheel in a frozen cave, as you do. The lostaways (foundaways?) end up back on the island after another crash, but some of them end up back in the 1970's. Some end up in the present, hanging out with the ghost of Jack's dad, who seems pretty cool, actually. John Locke is alive again, and really smug about it. There'll be no living with him after this.

For a more complete recap, check out the roundup episode, which will air just before the season finale. Also, check out lostpedia, if you haven't done so already, for an agonizingly complete compendium of Lost detail/analysis/documentation.