Michael Bay Ninja Turtles Script: It Sucks [Spoilers]
Michael Bay's Ninja Turtles Script: TMNT Becomes TANT, Shredder Becomes Schrader
We seriously hope that what you see below is not the real script for Michael Bay's TMNT reboot. More like TANT, since the titular turtles have been re-imagined as aliens. The film, called Ninja Turtles (?!), focuses on the 18-year-old security guard who accidentally finds the turtles in a secret government lab.
That's right, the film is called Ninja Turtles but it's not really about the turtles. Apparently you can't secure much of a budget for a film called 18-Year-Old Security Guard.
At any rate, here's the Ninja Turtles script (before the inevitable takedown occurs). For those who don't want to read the whole thing, it's crap. Derivative, boring, and generalized. Imagine Howard the Duck meets Spider-Man 3.
Oh, and Shredder isn't even a badass ninja anymore. He's a guy called General Schrader. Krang, Bebop, and Rocksteady also appear as villians, even if only for a few moments.
You know how 100 monkeys with 100 typewriters, given an infinite amount of time, would eventually type up the complete works of Shakespeare? Well, this is a version that they threw away.
A contributor to Comic Book Movie gives Ninja Turtles a too-generous 4/10:
Forget whether or not you hate the concept of them being aliens. Realize that they are trying to make their idea work with some of the dumbest and worst cliches in cinema history. Every tired "Chosen one" cliche is used here. Parents being killed by the villain (Krang). Children being sent away for their safety and to one day bring about peace. Said children not discovering their destiny and mysterious pasts until adulthood. The laughable content and stupid cliches are why this plot point cannot work. It's as if the writers gave up and stopped putting effort and believing in their work. If they don't care, why should the audience?