The morality of LiLo's nipples

Yep, Lindsay Lohan -- aka LiLo -- has posed "nekkid" (as many bloggers have put it) for a 15-page spread (pardon the pun) that recreates Marilyn Monroe's "Last Sitting" of 1962 by photographer Bert Stern. Monroe, of course, died shortly after that from an overdose of barbiturates.

So why do we need to protect the children? I wondered if LiLo shoots lasers, fembot-style (from the magazine or computer screen) at any man, woman or child who so much as looks at the photos. Or if she reinvents Medusa and turns anyone who looks at her into stone. But apparently that's not it. Apparently the problem can be summed up in one word.

Nipples.

It's the lack of respect and appreciation for things that sustain life -- the planet and its animals' mammary glands to name two -- that is life-threatening and harm-inducing.

For that reason, I'm going to suggest we save the moral outrage for the cellophane that covers up shots of naked nipples. And suggest that we embrace nipples (with permission) and things that promote life, and direct our efforts instead at the greed, laziness, inefficiency and corruption that cause its destruction.