Naive/Sweet or Knowing/Aggressive: Which would you choose?
You Must Be Aggressive In Court - Defense Rarely Wins
In 1999 I was a sweet girl. I was optimistic, hopeful and had the idea that all I had to do was walk into a Court room, tell the truth, and everything would be okay.
Fourteen years later – My daughter is Fifteen years old and grew up completely without her mother. The lesson to be learned, is sweet hopefulness is stupid. It is better to be an aggressive bitch in life.
I really wish that animals like Esther Wiggins did not force this decision upon women. She forced me to become the person that I am today. Once upon a time, I was sweet, nice, and admittedly naïve. Admittedly, I used bad judgment when I was younger, and have fixed it since then. However, there was nothing I ever did to deserve what that vile, repugnant excuse for a human being did to me or my daughter. Today, I venomously publish every single lie told, and every stupid thing believed on the internet for the world to see. It should not be this way. But people like Esther Wiggins force us to be be this way.
I find that general systems of logic work for most people. The problem, is that people like Esther Wiggins seek out information only to destroy it, ignore it, or make up excuses for it. She is willfully ignorant, and why not – doesn’t it feel better deluding herself into thinking she did the right thing? Doesn’t this self-deception make it better for her to sleep at night?
At first glance, we realize that self-deception has the great advantage of making us feel warm and fuzzy inside. Sometimes, self-deception gives us feelings of meaning and purpose, feelings that are otherwise missing in our lives.
Lying to ourselves has costs, even when those costs are not immediately felt. When we base conscience decisions on falsehoods, in many situations this can turn around and bite us. Time and again, alienating ourselves from reality has costs – huge costs.
I wrote a blog explaining how people censor incoming information. Esther Wiggins did this, when she actively ignored obviously weird and abusive behavior by EK. She CHOOSES not to see it.
The consequence is that she chooses to ignore the fact that verbally abusive people have the propensity to verbally abuse children. She gave sole custody of my daughter, to a man who now verbally abuses my daughter.
Esther Wiggins also chooses to ignore the complex emotional lives of teenage girls, and that it is nothing short of cruel forcing a teenage girl to live with a verbally abusive parent.
When we do allow input to enter our brains, we must wrestle with other cognitive biases. Confirmation bias is the one I am most accustomed to experiencing in myself and in others. People actively seek out, and focus their attention on things that conform to their beliefs rather than negate their beliefs. This in itself has nothing to do with deceit or deception. In my case, Esther Wiggins actively sought out information to condemn me, because I had worked as a dancer. She wanted to find fault in me, and searched until she found it. She did not want to find fault in EK, therefore, she hardly asked him any questions. What we now see, is a custody order wherein she refuses to say one negative thing about EK.
EK abandoned my daughter abroad for nearly six years, told me Esther Wiggins knew about it, told me I had better not take further action because, in his own words, “I have nothing to be afraid of. Every ruling will be in my favor. You know that the Judge goes to my restaurant? Good – you should know. CLICK”
We more easily remember positive information about ourselves than negative. It feels good – doesn’t it. When I was twelve years old, my grandmother was complaining about bad things other family members did to her. She boasted a story about how her son-in-law commented that she was right about something. Grandma told that story more times than I can remember. I turned to my grandmother, and asked a question I should not have asked her, “Grandma, can you tell me a story when you were wrong about something?” Let me just say – this did not end well.
Stop and think for a moment, if you know Esther Wiggins, have you ever known her to admit when she was really wrong about something?
Memories are not photos, nor are they videos. Memories are degraded over time, enhanced by the emotions that shape our words, words that shape our thoughts, memories are easily degraded. Esther Wiggins remembered things that she wanted to remember, in ways that suit her own delusion of being right. As she did not know what EK did to my daughter, or that he was lying to her from day one, it follows that she truly does “remember” EK was honest in his testimony and I was not.
Sweet and ignorant or aggressive and knowing
Today, I published a great deal of evidence that EK was lying and I was telling the truth. I smeared it all over the internet, and rubbed it in Esther Wiggins face. The world has seen the fraudulent letters EK was sending her, maintaining the elaborate lie that he had custody of my daughter. The world knows I was telling the truth. The world knows that as far as this case is concerned, Esther Wiggins is a complete moron. But is this something the rest of you should do?
My advice is to keep it as an option. If you are telling the truth, and the truth is not believed, you must invest in certain things:
· Audio recording devices
· Writing classes
· Internet technology classes
A mother recently contacted me, telling me that Wiggins gave custody of her daughter to the father. (the same man who beat her). His new wife is beating her daughter. The mother tried speaking to the father about this, he called their daughter a liar, then backtracked, saying that the girl break the house rules and deserves to be beaten by his wife.
The mother, broken down emotionally by Esther Wiggins, knows that going to Court and telling the truth does not work. She has been doing that, and it does not work.
Here is my solution: Record EVERY conversation. When the father does this crap again, publish that fucker on YouTube. Once the video gets a few thousand views, then go back into Court. When the WORLD has heard with their own two ears what this man was doing – will Wiggins call her a liar again? Wiggins will call her many other ad homenim attacks, but the world “liar” will not be one of them.
Take the Law into Your Own Hands
I do not like the idea of kidnapping children. When I think about what happened to my poor girl, growing up entirely without her mother, it is hard not to advise parents in similar situations to kidnap their children.
If you are an abused mother, and Esther Wiggins has put your child in harm’s way as she did my daughter, do not hesitate to contact me. I am not a lawyer and will never give you legal advice, but I can perhaps help you in other ways.