Nasty, Dirty, Sexy Sex for the Wii: Swingers, lesbians & more!

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Wii (we) Dare have a spicy evening !

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Believe it or not, spin the bottle was once considered slightly risqué. Just another example of the dangerous things boys and girls might get up to if left alone together. Then the sixties happened and a spinning bottle was the least of everyone’s concerns. From booze to bongs to love that was supposedly free, the sixties showed the way, making the bacchanalia of the seventies something of a foregone conclusion. By then, sex had more or less been reduced to a party game or some friction-full way to kill time. Wife swapping, key parties and sweaty, moustachioed orgies were presented as the kinky norm, and those prudes opting out were tagged as uptight and uncool. And to see and hear the times described in books and film you really would think everyone was doing it. Personally though, I tend to think it’s a lot more like high school – lots and lots of talk but very little walk. Still, today’s reality remains and we didn’t get here by accident.

Our modern psyches are absolutely drenched in sex. How much are we getting? Is it enough? Is it too little? Could it be better? Do we look good enough to get it? Books, TV, films and ads use it as a matter of course. The hardest of porn exists but a mouse click away and erectile dysfunction has become a punch-line versus someone’s private concern.  Every magazine promises detail on how to get more while gyms offer classes on pole dancing or stripping so we can perform like the “professionals” do. There even exist entire communities of people defined by nothing more than the manner in which they find themselves turned on. Oh yeah baby, sex is everywhere, so why not on the Wii too?

Once upon a time the closest you came to sex on a computer was scoring some bootleg version of Leisure Suit Larry for the PC. Either that or it was standing beside the creepy guy at the arcade waterfalling quarters into the strip poker machine in some desperate attempt to catch a flash of breast. Thankfully, I can report that the fun has found its way home in a brand new game by Ubisoft that promises to bring on the kink.

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Sex for you and Wii | Photo 02

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The game is called WeDare (available for the Nintendo Wii and the Sony Playstation 3) and it actually seems kind of ridiculous. The screen shots show little avatars (cute, cartoony virtual versions of you, created by you) looking slightly sluttier and more developed than other types presented thus far. Your avatars then engage in various titillating exercises, things like seductive strip teases, spanking games, kissing games, etc. to warm your human selves to the action on display, which is supposed to encourage some real-time “fun” for all. The game even allows the host or hostess to choose the mood of their party, meaning they can DJ the action all the way from enchanting to persuasive, right on to naughty, adventurous and even to brainy (for those “educated” yet still horny types).

The commercial itself is hilarious – not for what it is (a bunch of hot 20-30 somethings engaging in obvious foreplay with far more gaiety than logical) but in what it suggests: a likely situation my wife and I are going to come across someday.

“Hey guys, thanks for coming over tonight. We got this new game, WeDare. Do you want to play?”

“Uh, what is it?”

“It’s really fun! Sexy fun! Lots of sexy strips, kissing, some spanking and stuff....it’s a blast.”

“Oh yeah, great, great.....that sounds great. Y’know, I think we left the sink on. We’re just gonna go home and check it out.”

“No problem. Hurry back.”

“Ted, I really got to go. You’re going to have to stop stroking my pants now, okay?”

“Sorry, my bad.”

Clearly, the market embracing this video game will be oversexed alpha-kids determined to browbeat their classmates into playing for blackmail material. It’s either that or the sadly typical fetish freaks squishing their flabby butts into latex chaps and little else. Is it even possible to look someone at the PTA in the eye again once you’ve been sexy-spanked in front of them? I doubt it.

The outrage some are applying to the WeDare game is based on the age appropriate sticker affixed to it, which is apparently 12 and above. Justifiably, some folks figure twelve is a tad young to be experimenting with sex anything. To my way of thinking, I never trusted age ranges printed on packages anyway. I can’t work toys aimed at 3 year olds and I consider it a hate crime that seniors qualify for cheap coffee when I don’t. Most age guidelines are not absolute. They are subjective.

Like it or not, the hyperventilating about sex will always be with us. From the high-necked Victorian terrified to say the word all the way down to the lascivious slacker claiming it’s no big deal. Sex ain’t bad but it’s no small thing either. And anyone with half a brain knows you ought to use more than the space between your legs when it comes to making decisions about partaking in it. Age issues aside, if mom and dad are buying WeDare in some misguided quest to play a little grab-ass with the neighbors maybe they ought to step back and consider. Monkey see, monkey do.......and do, and do, and do, and do.