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The "New" New York City All Star Pizza Pie Tossing Contest
New York City is known for it's pizza.. now a new contest has been set to determine which pizza pie can be tossed the furtherest and the highest and by who!
A contest where all the boroughs come together in peace to see which one is the greatest in it's humble pie appeasement.
In an uncut saucer like toss New Yorkers shall determine which pizza pie can travel further with minimal complications by flinging it across the very streets of greater New York grandiose.
A contest which can only take place in New York is being held in New York and you gotta be there or be square because a pizza pie is round unless you are Sicilian.
The history of pizza goes as far back to a time in Italy when men like Leonardo DaVinci, Michaelangelo, Descartes, Spinoza, Dante, Guiseppe Garibaldi, and Benito Mussolini spelled pizza with 8 z's(PIZZZZZZZZA), that's one "z" for each slice in a pie unless you cut it up in odd numbers which would imply perhaps you are an anarchist and belong in Spain instead eating yellow rice or paellas.
German's have been known to spell Pizza with an "s" (PiSSa) as opposed to a "z" but that's only found today in South American countries such as Brazil and Argentina.
This particular contest though is being held in New York so you won't find any of that exotic stuff here.
I myself have never been married because I luv pizza too much. If you marry you might have to share your pizza with your wife and I could never do that. When you have pizza you need nothing else except beer because you need something to drink.
Pizza is also the only reason I never went to jail. There is no pizza there and I want to have the freedom to get pizza any time I want.
One can get pizza any time in New York therefore nothing symbolizes New York more than pizza. Not even the Statute of Liberty.. it is French and has been closed most of the time since the events of 9/11. Pizza is not afraid of terrorism. As a matter of fact terrorists enjoy eating pizza as shown in the 1998 Denzel Washington movie "The Siege".
Forget about Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest held at Coney Island. That contest has been won by the Japanese just like Pearl Harbor so get over it and besides what is a hot dog anyway but a skinny German sausage with bread.
Sociologists have determined that only "pizza" can be considered the only New York food not dominated by members of the communist party.
In a city where you could easily get run over by a Halal Food trailer truck or get hit by a flying gyro, slapped by slovaki, or smacked in the face by a baklava.. uncooked fish such as sashimi can cause salmonella.. and most of these foods are handled by Mexicans who have arrived illegally to the US and have not been properly screened for tuberculous and Swine Flu... Pizza is made by real New Yorkers who are U.S. Citizens or have a legitimate green card. If it ain't an Italian making your pizza it's not pizza. It's a flat burrito.
Pizza remains an american food as cheese comes from a cow not a goat which was raised down on a farm and tomatoes grow above ground on vines in Sicily not in the dirt like an irish potato.. After all it was the Italians that conquered Rome and Christopher Columbus did land on America not Plymouth Rock. The Statute of Liberty is located in New York Harbor though it is really in New Jersey but that's okay with me and Mr. Tony Soprano.
Sure the debate goes on for the location of the contest. It has been suggested Mott Street, Bleeker Street or Spring Street, maybe Mulberry Street or Orchard Street. Some have said the Bowery or 42nd Street Times Square. Some even say Steinway Street in Astoria or Corona in Queens, Gunhill Road in the Bronx, or even the Brooklyn Bridge itself.
The location has not yet been set but wherever it is the streets will be filled with blood..that is blood red juicy tomato sauce..
Red tomato sauce actually comes from a fruit though some still believe it's a vegetable which gives us the best of both worlds and plenty of Vitamin C minus the tapeworms we get in sushi..preferable San Marzano tomatos but we'll leave the anchovies at home that will be the speculation of the others who will want to participate and challenge the authenticity of pizza in this mother lode of all New York contests. Don't be fooled by those who use ketchup.
Like the Japanese before us there will be those who come from afar like the Mongols from Mongolia, Arabs from the desert sands, Berbers on their camels, Filipinos fliping pies in the sky oven, Thai Pizza, and their close friends and associates who want the title not because they hate America but because they love New York, the capital of the world.
Pizza is the food that brings people together that's why it's cut in 8 pieces. One for each and every type of person on the planet. Even bad people can become good if you give them pizza and pizza is better than sex so there won't be any ghetto rapes or fighting involved like St. Patrick's Day.
Have you ever gone to a White Castles in the middle of the night? There's always a fight there cause they don't serve pizza. Have you ever seen a fight at a Pizza Hut? I never did. Pizza is the best and one's true friend. It will never leave you unless it's gone but that's after you've eaten it. You can take it home in a box or have it delivered at record speed by kids on wheels or motor bikes. You can reheat it in a microwave or electric oven. Some people prefer gas stoves while others eat it cold.
Along with a calzone and some lasagna, pizza is not alone considering you have 365.2422 days of the year to eat it and that's not including Leap Year. Without pizza life wouldn't be worth living and this world wouldn't be worth saving. So jump on the bandwagon and join us for the world's first "Nu" New York City All Star Pizza Pie Tossing Contest.
Who will win? Ray's Pizza or Pizza Ray or Ray's Pizza the Original or Original Ray. Shall it be "Lombardi's" New York's oldest pizzeria or will it be "Cha Cha's" owned by the legendary New Yorker Cha Cha Cacciatore friend to Danny DeVito, Tony Danza, and Vincent Pastore. I don't know but it's gonna be a close one. Hopefully no one gets killed this time.
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ACE PRESTON
Manhattan, New York, United States
Recommendations (35)

Anonymous user
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Uwe Paschen
Narita, Chiba, Japan -
Barry ORegan
Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada -
Rhonda J Mangus
North Tonawanda, New York, United States -
mudricky
Glasgow, Scotland, United Kingdom











Most RecentMost Recommended Comments (9)
at 11:52 on January 1st, 2010
The Statue of Liberty is actually in New Jersey waters. NJ even took NY to court to prove it and won. It doesn't matter to me because the Statue of Liberty belongs to everybody so it has no specific location.
I never knew about the Teardrop Memorial..give me time and I'll do a story on it for you.
Perogies would be a great contest as well. I'll discuss it with the Polish community for their annual fair in Riverhead Long Island this year.
at 15:09 on January 1st, 2010
Damn,.I'd kill for east coast pizza, as I am stuck on the left coast, with wheat thin crust and tofu fixings, WTF is that all about here>?
at 16:36 on January 1st, 2010
Article from Gizmodo:
The fastest commercial train in the world is now fully armed and operational, covering the line between New York and San Francisco. OK, I lied. Actually, that's what I wanted to write. Sadly for us, it's in China.
Developed with Siemens, Bombardier and Alstom, the new train swooshes across the red land at 245mph (394km/h). The service covers 663 miles (1,068 kilometers) at an average of 217mph (350km/h), which means it's the fastest train in operation in the world according to China's railways ministry. It's part of the network of 42 high-speed lines that will be finished by 2012. If you have never tried these amazing trains in Europe or Japan, imagine going from New York to Chicago in just a bit over three hours, no absurd controls, no waits, no taxis needed.
The new Chinese high-speed lines will increase their total network from 53,437 miles to 74,564 miles. That's still smaller than the US railway system which, but ours only has one single "high-speed" line, bridging the 456 miles that separate Boston from Washington at a whooping 70mph average, totaling seven hours. Don't take that line. It will liquify your brain.
Barry,
Imagine all the pizza you could get delivered if this train was ever built here in the goode olde USA.
at 09:04 on January 2nd, 2010
Yeah, but could it deliver it under the "30 Minutes or it's Free?"
at 02:51 on January 3rd, 2010
From the past few post I have been reading, many are some what having a grouch against Immigrants in North American and fall into the traps of prejudice and even hate.
I think that trend should worry North American. Such prejudices and trends lead us into Fascism in Europe and we all know how that ended.
at 23:58 on January 3rd, 2010
The United States as a North American country is a nation of many religions, cultures, and races therefore racism shouldn't and should exist.. but fascism can never exist in a Republic when it is in denial. It is a part of a long historical process that it is now useless to discuss it. You can question it's indigenous population, African-Americans, Hispanics, Jews, Irish, Italians, Catholics, etc about it. Every human being who has entered the new world at one point or another will tell you of similar experiences. It is no different today than yesterday.
Have you heard of the Black Code or Jim Crow? The Shakers? Do you know about the Ku Klux Klan? How about the Black Panthers? Or the initials FALN? The Almighty Latin King Nation? National Council of La Raza? Weather Underground Organization? Young Lords? The Five Percenters? Have you heard about Commander George Lincoln Rockwell Phase I of American Nazi Party? These are all american groups. What about "Shama Lama Ding Dong"? Otis Day & The Knights were cool when they played at Delta Tau Chi House but things changed for Otter, Pinto, Boon, and Flounder when they took that road trip.
America is a country of right of passage. A testing ground. An initiation process where only the strong survive. Cruel but no different than the new kid in school. America is not europe nor will it ever be. Like the French Foreign Legion it's soldiers are diversified. You can see them all over the planet for the last hundred years. Americans are not racist. Warriors more than anything else. They will fight anytime against any race, culture, or religion the world has to offer. When they run out of enemies they shall fight among themselves. Regardless what they tell you U.S. soldiers are not peacemakers. Patton is their grandfather.
However you are correct about the sign of the times dictating ideologies and current events along with economic crisis but it would never stir such a revolution in the form of a social attack which would overturn a regime which has been implanted in the deep seeded roots of colonialism, imperialism, slavery, annihilation, nuclear warfare, internment camps, human medical experimentation, for the last 200+ years of it's social evolution. Some people play musical chairs as children. When they grow up they play russian roulette. When america grows up it will be like China cause Mao Zedong said so.
Fascism in Germany was different than fascism in Brazil, Spain, Italy, and Imperial Rule Assistance Association(Japan). German Fascism was more biological...Fascists are not unified on issues of racism.
Fascism was considered the third way.. the balancing factor between Capitalism and Communism to prevent one form of government from gaining total control. There is no third factor today. It is extinct.
Have you read "Agent of Chaos" by Norman Spinrod? I never did but Noel Monk did. I did read "Venus on the Half-Shell" by Kilgore Trout. Kurt Vonnegut Jr. told me about him. After all he has been to Tralfamadore. I never have.
The power elite today wants to keep the masses controlled and the world population divided in order to maintain control. They have no loyalty to one flag, nation, church, or god. They feel they are beyond it. It is all a question of personal choice to believe this to be true. I would ask Fidel Castro myself if I could. Benito Mussolini is dead. One would be ignorant not to notice or accept this reality. In order for the Roman Empire to co-exist Gaius Julius Caesar had to be sacrificed but Napoleon Bonaparte resurrected him. The earth continues to spin round and round. There will be others. Che Guevara was murdered but he didn't die.
The United States is a country with freedom of speech. Americans might not agree with one another some of the time or most of the time but they will remain united against outside forces to protect their different ways of life. The Tuskegee Airmen proved this. So did the Purple Heart Battalion. So did Jesse Owens and Jim Thorpe. Cesar Chavez. They are so internal that they can speak freely among themselves because we all belong to the same biological order of primates. We still carry samurai swords. Ignore the "Haitorei Edict". The swastika is a sacred symbol in Shamanism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Mithraism. Religion comes first. Must Abraham sacrifice his son, Isaac to God? The dollar will become stronger than the euro but not the pound. Sell me something I can't use. I prefer pesos. Viva Zapata!!
Some say that those who enter the country illegally are committing a crime. They are invaders. Undocumented. Unregistered.. thus unable to monitor Sex Offenders in the community especially Child Molesters. Convicted felons. Gary Glitter should have stayed in England. "She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah" is a good song by the Beatles but I prefer "El Rey" by Vincente Fernandez. I only disguise myself to the Anglo-Saxon. Did you really think I'm a part of your race? Does it frighten you now to discover I'm different. To many I'm not. Shame on you. Didn't think a spic could read or write. David Alfaro Siqueras and Jose Clemente Orosco are poets in form to me. So is Diego Rivera. He is my brother but that's not the reason I would never sleep with Frida. Not a woman with One Eye Brow or Two Mustache. Trotsky must have been desperate. Are they waiting for someone to lead them. They have not been led yet. There are over 48 million of us in the United States. Only about 12 million are illegal. Imagine Central and South America combined. Imagine the Caribbean. Spain. Chavez, Ortega, Morales. Does your last name end with a "Z" or a vowel? Maybe an "S". Didn't I tell you "Che" was alive not dead. Neither is Pancho Villa. Pershing could never capture him.
Illegal immigration is a negative thing because it permits people to be taken advantage of. I am a freedom fighter not a terrorist. Call me a rebel if you want but I prefer the term revolutionary. Dr. Benjamin Franklin told us so. He gave us a Republic if we could hold on to it.. The first european city in America was St. Augustine. It was a Spanish city. Made from Spanish steel. The conquistadors hit them with the Spanish Horse. The Edit of Expulsion. The Mexican-American War. The Spanish-American War. The Bay of Pigs. Cuban Missile Crisis. Cubans in the Congo, Mozambique. Ethiopia, Angola, Nicaragua, Honduras, Costa Rica, El Salvador, Peru, Viet Nam. The Korea War set them off after The Voyage of the Damned. The Aztecs. The Mayan Calendar. Cahokia Mounds. Santa Fe, New Mexico. Little Big Horn. Crazy Horse. Georgia O'Keefe. Who blinks first? Dusty Springfield? Wayne Newtown or Cantinfla?
I have never been to Auschwitz or Treblinka.. Armenia? Turkey? Do you prefer S21, Rwanda or Darfur? What the hell did I have to do with that? My former U.S Army unit liberated the camp. Did yours? My mentors have all been Holocaust survivors. How many did you know? Any negative terms implied to such people is not an act of fascism. It is an act of patriotism. The economic collapse of state governments such as California and soon to be New York is due in part to a welfare system of health, education, and criminal justice based on social reforms which has drained the tax payer mostly the middle class of it resources. There will be other cities. Haven't we lost New Orleans and Detroit. The New Deal. FDR. Herbert Hoover. J. Edgar Hoover. John Dillinger was an American Hero. So was Jesse James. How about Jack Dempsey or Ty Cobb? I believe Satchell Paige was the greatest pitcher of all time but I also liked Shoeless Joe Jackson. He played baseball not cricket. I prefer boxing. Teofilo Stevenson is my favorite boxer of all time but I respect Max Schmeling.
Where you born before the Berlin Blockage/Berlin Airlift? Air-Berlin had a plane skid off the runaway today. No one can perfect themselves.
...the combination of every race, religion, and culture that New York City has to offer is nurtured in me.. a trend that Fascism derives from prejudism just couldn't be. You would have to hate one group for that but what if you hated everyone would you have to include yourself? I'll never eat green eggs and ham but I do like spam. Grouches against immigrants..well that just isn't true. I won't try to take your burrito away but please don't hit me with a potato. There are children starving in this world. Don't waste food. If people started to complain what would they do. Send in the tanks like Tiananmen Square or shall we have crumpets and tea. Maybe they'll build another Berlin Wall but I prefer PIZZA GOD DAMN IT!! Don't mess with pizza. It's the best. Better than fascism.
at 01:51 on January 4th, 2010
Ace, Germany was a Republic prior to 1936 and it was also multi ethnic and multi religious, until the NAZI suspended the constitution...
Never say never, The German and Japanese may have learned one thing from all of this, that it can happen any where and any time and to be very worried about the first signs and deal with them with the vigilance.
at 21:53 on January 12th, 2010
Good work Paschen...You are always so ever correct in your wise interpretations but I do believe North Americans have come a long way since 1965. I believe they have become a better people since the days that photographer Charles Moore took pictures in 1965 Alabama...even with a fascist regime today shots like that no longer exist as they would never be tolerated..
I am grateful for men like Sophocles, Ralph Waldo Emerson, David G. Thoureau, Gandhi, and Dr. Martin Luther King who have paved the way for non-violent reform..Ricky Ricardo was okay but he should have taken Eng 101 but logic must include Malcolm X...he was a perfect american..so was Monk Eastman...the perfect New Yorker.. to die from the sword and live in peace makes no sense. In this scenario one must blame the conservatives for creating the liberals. Forget about D's "Crime & Punishment" or his Darconian theory of judging a society by it's penal institutions. That credit belongs to Singapore today. They are the most advanced culture right now and have proven that race means nothing. Switzerland is the way of the blind. Choose a side. See how religion decipitates Portugal as a league of diminishing Catholic nations weakens a church and dares to criticize the burning of the cross..hypocrites...Austria today...should know better. The birthplace of a demi-god or a demogogue...Forsaken..Forgotten..Goethe was twice removed from the coin after 1932.. the Potsdam Church, Hindenburg.. a twisted crucifix..distorted centuries before. It is in this that we find the two most powerful nations on earth face to face. You don't need numerous atomic weapons to a serve purpose or clear a point. All you need is one. The only true currencies are those of Cuba and the USA. Absolute Zero and Less Than Zero X. There are no Kings or Queens on that note. There is no value in diamonds, oil, or gold in matters like this. There are no other empires on earth who have earned such men as Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Jackson, Grant, Franklin, Jose Marti, Ernesto "Che" Guevarra, Camilio Cienfuegos, Antonio Maceo, Maximo Gomez etc.. It is only in these two nations that the fate of mankind will be decided. Iran is to Israel as North Korea is to the south...just as Venezuela to Columbia.. Bolivia & Nicaragua.. Peru to Equador..Argentina to England..Kosovo, Georgia, and Sarajevo...Is one willing to launch a nuclear weapon for life? Have we forgotten about the Cuban Missile Crisis. Islands are not alone..like continents.. like John Donne..America is not alone..it has created many enemies.. seen and unseen..known and unknown.. that is the price that one pays for being a superpower..can fascism help it survive? .
I believe it shall be pizza.