OPINION: John Edwards and His "Inconvenient Truth"?

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For better or worse?

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Elizabeth Edwards is currently on Oprah discussing her feelings about her husband's affair, the "love child", her terminal cancer, her marital expectations, her pain.   

I am reposting this previous article to reiterate my point.  Why not?  If the media is deciding to "spin" it around the table again, then so shall I.

http://michellesaysso.blogspot.com

OPINION: IS MARRIAGE Y2K COMPATIBLE?

I hate to sound like the cynical wet blanket, but let's face it: Over 50% of marriages in the United States today end in divorce. I don't know what the percentage of that comes from extra marital affairs, but let's be honest...how many people do you know that are divorced that weren't a victim of an affair?

I'll use myself as an example: I have friends, certain relatives, even close business mentors.

So my question is: Is marriage obsolete?

When we say the big words, "I DO", do we really mean:

 "For better or for worse?"

"For richer or for poorer?"

"In sickness and in health?"; and most importantly:

"Till DEATH DO WE PART"?

Three years ago I wrote an opinion article on my blog (http://michellesaysso.blogspot.com) of how I believe marriage is obsolete. No one is bound to stay in an unhealthy or unhappy marriage. In regards to women, today we have greater resources, the availability for higher education and to make our own money, and the know-how to leave a marriage if we are unhappy.

For example, many questioned and still question why Hillary Clinton stayed with Bill after his openly public affairs. Did she stay due to her own political ambitions? Did she stay because she believes in the marital vow of "for better or for worse"? Did she stay for the sake of their child? Did she stay because she genuinely LOVES her husband and believed they could work through the turmoil? Who are we to judge and make those assumptions? Those were her PERSONAL decisions to make.

Let's look at JFK. At the time, the media, political advisers, and even the women he slept with kept his 'penis in closet'. When it came out that he was an avid womanizer, how many people changed their opinion of him? He is still considered one of the most influential and popular presidents of our time, all the while his "secret service" kept his secrets. Did anyone blast Jackie for staying with him when it was learned she knew of his infidelities? Did the public question her motives for staying in the marriage? Why was she treated with kid gloves? Was it because the day and time of our society that a woman should accept their husband's affairs and "deal with it"? Or was it because she was used to the power, the fame and the money? As we later learned, her marriage to Onassis was merely a marriage of financial convenience, and not of pure love.

Bottom line...what John Edwards did to his wife, children, family and friends is not our business. Do you have a neighbor, a friend, or even a family member going through something like this? What if this personal business was on the news 24/7? How humiliating would that be for the forsaken marital party, for their family, and for the children?

People will disagree with me that a politician who cheats cannot be trusted and is not worthy to lead our country, state, county, what-have-you. But tomorrow when you are at work, take a look at your CEO, your boss, your co-workers. Could it be they have done or are doing the same thing? Are they functioning properly and making money for their company, employees and/or shareholders? Are they actually bringing their marital dishonesty into their jobs?

It happens every day.

When I was 23 and getting married to my college sweetheart of 5 years, I assumed that was what I was supposed to do. I graduated college, had a great job and was in a committed relationship. I started to question my actions before I walked down the isle. When my dad gave me away I thought to myself, “If this doesn’t work out, I can always get divorced.”

I am ashamed to admit my thinking at the time. However, I now believe that it takes a very special person to commit themselves 100% to another person for life. Those very special people are far and few between anymore.

Please do not construe this as an "anti-marriage" or justification for infidelity rant. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. However, I believe that when one gets married, a majority of those do not see the LONG TERM. They do not see beyond the primrose path.

Marriage is work. It is a commitment that goes beyond any job or any other commitment that we agree with God and our partner to in live with.

I hate cliché "old sayings"...but I'm going to throw this one out there. One who lives in a glass house should not throw stones.

Life is a bitch. It’s not supposed to be perfect. It’s not supposed to be some fairy tale or the dream you’ve always had of living in the cul-de-sac neighborhood with the white picket fence, having ‘block parties’ and barbecues with the neighbors, who all happen to be your ‘best friends’. That is what the media and other propaganda mongers want us to believe.

This is just something to think about to those who are blasting John Edwards. I'm not condoning Edwards for what he did, but for the sake of his wife, his children and family, let them deal with this in their own way.

IN PRIVATE.