Pardon my butterball, and other turkey tales

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Thanksgiving turkey scraps will soon be in the fridge. Before the leftovers leave you cold, here are some turkey tidbits -- zero-calorie facts that are food for thought.

MUSIC HATH CHARMS: According to Stephen Goode in "Turkeys Appreciate Soothing Sounds, Too" (Insight on the News, January 5, 2004), an English farming union released a compact disk recording designed to calm turkeys and so to fatten them for the slaughter. Selections include whale calls, sounds of rustling forest boughs, and Gregorian chants.

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN TALKS TURKEY: The great man did in fact write the following words in 1784, to his daughter, Sarah Bache: "I wish the eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country. He is a bird of bad moral character; like those among men who live by sharping and robbing, he is generally poor, and often very lousy. The turkey is a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original of America."

Waverly Root, in Food: An Authoritative and Visual History and Dictionary of the Foods of the World, strongly suspected that "Franklin wrote this with tongue in cheek, as ... when, it is said, he advocated putting the turkey on the American flag."

THE BRIDE WORE WHITE: Barbara Orr Erhart got married at the annual Far West Turkey Show in Turlock, Calif. That alone is unusual, but Barbara showed up in a wedding gown of 37,500 white turkey plumes (taken from 300 birds), which she and her fiancé had worked on for four months. The four bridesmaids wore dresses of multicolored turkey feathers, while the best man pinned a turkey-feather boutonniere to his tuxedo. To the surprise of no one, roast turkey was served at the reception. (SOURCE: Life magazine, "Life Goes to a Turkey Feather Wedding," December 1986; Encore article from 1948.)

GOBBLE, GOBBLE: In "Americans Are Eating Tons of Turkey All Year Long," (The Houston Chronicle, Nov. 27, 2003), Genaro C. Armas wrote, "The typical American gobbles up nearly 14 pounds of turkey a year, more than double the consumption in 1970."

A HEARTBEAT AWAY FROM THE DINNER TABLE: Did you know there is a turkey counterpart to the vice president of the United States? The White House receives two birds from the National Turkey Federation each year, one for the dinner table and the other "just in case" the First Turkey dies or gets sick before Thanksgiving. Although the birds' 50 pounds of weight is a real strain on their knees and giblets, the second turkey has never been needed in the more than half a century that this tradition has been in place. All the "Veep Turkeys" have been pardoned and sent to spend the rest of their days in a Virginia park.

The process begins in May of each year. That is when the "candidate pool" of around 2,000 turkey poults hatch at the Tar Heel Turkey Hatchery in Raeford, N.C. In September, 10 finalists are chosen (all are tom turkeys because males are larger). The selection criteria are size, feather quality, posture, and temperament. An ill-tempered bird can be dangerous, as President Reagan learned in 1984, the year a turkey flapped its wings in his face. In November, the field narrows to four finalists, and six days before Thanksgiving the two National Turkeys are chosen. Both birds arrive in Washington on Thanksgiving Eve, where they spend the night in the rooftop kitchen of the Hotel Washington. (SOURCES: U.S. News & World Report, "White House Turkey-in-Waiting," Nov. 2, 1998 and Time, "The Making of the President's Turkey," December 1, 1997.)

PARDON MY BUTTERBALL: "President Truman was the first President to pardon a turkey," said Bill Clinton in 1997, "but in some ways, the tradition actually began 83 years earlier when President Lincoln received a turkey for Christmas holiday. His son, Tad, grew so attached to the turkey that he named him 'Jack,' and President Lincoln had no choice but to give Jack the full run of the White House. Jack was here, actually, for some monumental events. On election day in 1864 when Mr. Lincoln was running for reelection, a special polling place was actually set up right here on the grounds of the White House so that the soldiers could vote. Well, Jack the turkey actually strutted in front of some of the would-be voters and broke in line. Lincoln asked his son, 'Why is your turkey at the polls? Does he vote?' Without hesitation, Tad said, 'He's not old enough yet.'" (SOURCE: Weekly Compilation of Presidential Documents, "Remarks at the Thanksgiving Turkey Presentation Ceremony and an Exchange with Reporters," December 1, 1997.)