Rupert Murdoch’s Religion Jewish Christian or Other?
by Karen Fish
Rupert Murdoch’s religion is
d) And ye shall find
e) All of the above
f) None of the above
In the internet age it seems that it would be the simplest thing in the world to discover Rupert Murdoch’s religion in two seconds but looks can be deceiving. In order to discover Rupert Murdoch’s religion first let us ask ourselves ‘What is religion?’
President Obama became President of the United States of America, he is on our TV screens constantly and running our lives and yet half the country thinks he’s Christian, half the country thinks he’s Muslim, and half the country thinks he’s agnostic. Could this be the fault of Fox News which chased President Obama out of Reverend Wright’s Church?
Perhaps if we bribed a few police officers to let us tap President Obama’s phone line we could get the answer: ‘Hello, Imam Ali, hi it’s Barry. These far right Christian zealots are threatening to drive the country into bankruptcy to destroy my re-election chances. What should I do?’ Imam Ali: ‘Eat two bagels and call me in the morning.’
Rupert Murdoch has cut down 14 trillion trees in order to print his 175 newspapers and yet it is nearly impossible to determine his religion. This seems like a case for Scotland Yard, for Sherlock Holmes. Surely someone must know Rupert Murdoch’s religion.
The problem is that there are many different tests for determining a person’s religion. DNA tests are not helpful as we all have 99% monkey DNA. Have a banana. You could simply ask the person ‘Hey Rupert what’s your religion?’ Or you could ask him ‘Hey Rupert what religion were your parents and your grandparents and your great grandparents?’ Adolf Hitler gassed you if one of your four grandparents were Jewish. How did the Nazis determine the religion of each one of your grandparents? Was it because Germany was so busy tracing everyone’s genieology that they lost the war, they took their eye off the ball?
If you ask Rupert Murdoch what his religion is he will tell you that he is Christian and his wife Wendi is Catholic. Rupert Murdoch will tell you that he goes to Church most Sundays but he hasn’t converted to Catholocism even though he was knighted by the Pope. How about Rupert Murdoch’s religious ancestry?
Scientists tell us that planet Earth is 5 billion years old, 5 thousand million years old. Earth is 5,000,000,000 years old. Judaism was invented by Abraham 4,000 years ago. Christianity was invented by Jesus Christ 2,000 years ago. Islam was invented by the Prophet Muhammad 1,400 years ago. Prior to 4,000 years ago there was no Judaism, Christianity or Islam and hence the grandparents of every person on Earth were Pagans. Give me a ‘P!’ Give me an ‘A!’ Give me a ‘G!’ Give me an ‘A!” Give me an ‘N!’ Give me an ‘S!’ ‘What have you got?’ ‘Go, Pagans!’