Snooki Getting Married? InTouch Says Yes, But...

'Snooki's Getting Married!", Says Headline for Story about Snooki Not Getting Married

In Touch Weekly knocks it out of the park with its headline, "Snooki Getting Married!" They have an exclamation mark and everything. The article features a choice quote from Snooki: "I’m 24, I’ve had all the fun I’m ever going to have in my life. I found the right guy, and I’m just waiting for him." We hope that's not all the fun she's going to have, but moving right along...

Photos

Snooki & Jionni: Nicole Polizzi and Jionni LaValle

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Snooki then says that she's waiting for Jionni LaValle, her long-suffering boyfriend, to propose to her. Wait, hang on... so this means that Jionni has not proposed to Snooki. So Jionni and Snooki are not engaged. This, in turn, means that Snooki is not getting married.

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So In Touch has a headline about Snooki getting married, attached to a story about Snooki not getting married. Wow, we really have a lot to learn about shameless pandering. However big you are, you're that small. The National Enquirer covers another aspect of shameless pandering with its staged Whitney Houston death photos.