To Snoop or Not to Snoop

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To snoop, or not to snoop; that is the question. Some women have followed their man around town, read his e-mails, listened to his voicemail, scoured his Facebook postings, and even had his phone tapped. Sure it happens, but does that make it right? Is it ever okay to do a little spying on your boyfriend if you think he’s cheating on you? And the answer is…no. A serious relationship can’ survive in the long-term without trust. Without trust, both parties will always be on edge and over time that will destroy the relationship. That being said, I can understand why you might want to do some snooping. It can be difficult to confront someone and ask them straight up if they’re cheating. If they say yes, you’ll be hurt, and if they say no, you’ll either think they’re lying or you’ll feel bad for accusing them in the first place.

But before you start snooping and digging around, ask yourself a few questions first:

• Has your boyfriend been spending more time than usual on the computer or his cell phone? Is he secretive about it? For example, does he leave his Facebook page or e-mail open when he’s not at the computer?
• Does he keep in touch with his ex-girlfriends?
• Does he get paranoid when you bring up the subject and insist on his right to privacy?
• Is he a flirt when you’re out in public?
• Is your gut telling you that something’s wrong?

If you answered yes to any of the above then it’s completely understandable why you might want to put on your spy gear and do some snooping. But before you do, just remember that snooping can lead to serious issues and even if you’re wrong and he’s been totally faithful, your relationship may still have suffered irreparable harm as a result of the lack of trust you had in him. So before you tap the phone or read through his text messages, I recommend you ask him first. In the end you’ll be glad you want that route instead of snooping.

Jessica Reinholt is SoTite’s resident advice giver. Her articles appear each Friday.