Telling Stories: Las Vegas adventure awaits

by AdFool | August 26, 2011 at 12:28 pm

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The crowd turned to look at me. Dennis Rodman had just dumped his drink on my head because I had refused to surrender the seat he wanted at the roulette table in the Hard Rock Hotel. I turned to look. Staring at me, the six-foot-six NBA star, known as much for his out-of-control behavior as for his skill with a basketball wasn’t backing down. He wanted to fight, and for whatever reason, I gave in. Grabbing the edge of the table with my left hand I jumped up and pushed myself into him with as much force as I could. A waitress was knocked over and I grabbed her tray, smacking Rodman across the head with it. We both tumbled backward and ended up trading punches near the feet of the pit boss. His long arms were quickly becoming a problem so I pulled myself in close and tried to head-butt him, missing and hitting the pit boss’ shin instead. That was it. Security stepped in and, as the only non-celebrity in the fracas, I was about to be walked roughly out the door. Rodman stopped them. “Hey, nobody ever stands up to me. He’s cool. We’re fine.” That was all it took. For whatever reason, Rodman and I became fast friends that night and spent what can only be described as a legendary evening in Las Vegas, city of stories.

It seems like everybody has a Vegas story. Whether it’s some debauched weekend with the guys, fuelled by insane amounts of alcohol or tales of unexpected luck or accidental brushes with fame, Las Vegas is fertile ground when it comes to providing material for the stories of average Joes and Janes. That many of these stories are embellished or exaggerated is beside the point. A story is designed exclusively to get, and hold, the attention of others. Merely laying out the facts is hardly a recipe for entertainment, and usually leads to that most banal of responses: mm hmm?

Sadly, the disappointing truth about Las Vegas is that for 99% of the people that visit, the experiences accumulated are basically the same: a red-eye flight chosen due to low price; an unremarkable room in a godforsakenly large hotel; expensive drinks to numb a free sunburn acquired by the pool; “dubious” luck at the gaming tables; sore feet from too much walking and late nights spent falling asleep to in-room porn - cough, cough, I mean movies. Who wouldn’t want to dress a reality like that up a little bit?

Thankfully, the hotel and casino known as New York, New York wants to help. In a series of magazine ads designed to grab attention and inspire some desire for a trip to Sin City, USA, New York, New York displays several different versions of what they call “hotel experiences” capped off with an aspirational inset: a pulpy fiction-styled book cover framing some drama in the event. One is called "Coaster," another "Suite" while others are called "Casino," "Bar at Times Square" and "Nine Fine Irishman.” Each ad presents an appropriately raucous event immortalized forever as novel cover art, reminding the viewer of their own ability to “create a story” each time they visit the most famous of desert oasis.

For example, the ad called “Suite” shows a happy guest sitting up in bed while lingerie-clad women pillow fight above him, even as another dark-haired beauty observes from the doorway. The book title is “Battle in Suite 1746” suggesting the only thing between an average guy and such Hefner-like adventures is the booking of the flight and the arranging of the hotel. And considering Vegas’ reputation, that’s probably true. All you really need is money. There are plenty of Vegas “professionals” willing to indulge one’s most aberrant fantasies at the drop of a buck. Still, getting a good Vegas story is even easier than that.

Consider. Would most of us be willing to book into some low-rent dive in a bad part of Las Vegas and look for trouble? Maybe dress up like the Marlboro Man and get into a fight with some boxer-cum-hotel greeter? How about mortgaging your house in advance and selling all your possessions so that you can bet it all on one spin of the roulette wheel? If you have a brain, probably not, but take any one of those examples and however they turn out you’re left with one heckuva good story to tell. Finding actual drama is never that hard. It’s surviving actual drama that’s the tricky part.

No matter what though, I sincerely appreciate the efforts of New York, New York to encourage those attending their Nevada gem to up the drama quotient. Life is only so long and the stories we tell have to last us a lifetime. Personally, I consider the having of good stories a matter of self-interest. If they do nothing more than keep the interest of the caregivers assigned to me in the nursing home I believe I stand a much better chance of not being left alone to rot in my own filth. That’s how important a good story is. So why not take a cue from the folks at New York, New York and simply fabricate your own Vegas story. It’s safer, way more fun and, as you’ve already probably guessed, works extremely well for me.