Twitter's Up, Down, Broke, Fixed, Twisted, Crippled, and Failing

Despite its propensity for allowing the disappearance of its members avatars, the disappearance of its members' messages, and the nearly continuous interruptions and infuriating failings and whalings of its inconsistent service, still the Twittering hordes keep coming.

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Twitter Capacity

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uploaded by Jordan Yerman

Like millions of microblogging zombies they come — collectively complaining in flickering moments of all-too-briefly fleeting fury — before being driven silent and faceless as the latest seething, swelling flood of tweets pushes Twitter's limits officially Over Capacity.

Surely the company must realize that it has very nearly created the creatively concise and contrived conditions of its own too-critical demise, by encouraging its impossibly loyal cohort of instantaneously ever-updating fiends to vociferously declare their ire and anger over the site's ongoing technical problems on the very site that's suffering under the creaks and moans of the Twitterati's groaning displeasure.

While the company is abject and apologetic over its technological incapacity, it has vowed to resolve the many outstanding issues created by its own popularity and, in order to do this, has dreamed up a simple but daringly optimistic solution — Hire. More. People.

Indeed, Ev & Biz & the rest of the floating internet-brains-in-vats behind the microsite's maniacally monolithic success are hiding the pink slips in the depths of their desk drawers and drawing up plans to bring in only the best and brightest tweeps to twimprove their Titanic disruptions.

Front end, fancy font designers and PR people need not apply. But if you're specialty is the back end (ie. software & systems) — you might get to jump in the Twitter pool just in time to develop a rapid-fire field of protection to ward off the impending push from the power-hungry paraiahs and publicly, self-publishing piranhas.

Godspeed!