unspoken conspiracy of sabotage
One of my best friends is in the psych ward of a local hospital. She put herself there basically. She blames her son-in-law but it's not wholly his fault. Let me back up a little. A couple years ago she was forcibly estranged from her daughter. It destroyed her. She was suicidal. She was told "you will never call here again".. Fast forward to yesterday. A lucid and level headed friend overheard a telephone call between me and my friend in the hospital. She bluntly stated: "she's the problem" (after i briefly told her the story). She absolutely right. But also a little stilted in her perspective. The one in the hospital is 'the problem'. But so is her son-in-law. And so is her daughter. Read the title of this article. There's a lot of wisdom in that phrase. Intentionally or not, we sabotage relationships without thinking, realizing, or acknowledging. We all do; i'm guilty of it. The first step in 'fixing' a problem is awareness. Let us also acknowledge we can't change ANYTHING - not minds, not people.. not ANYTHING. The ONLY thing we can do is raise awareness.