Dear Silicon Valley journalists: You have failed.

NICK DOUGLAS -- After Valleywag canned me as editor in November, I talked to a half-dozen editors and writers from as many respected newspapers and magazines. Several discussed writing positions that I would have killed for the year before. Why did I turn them all down and go back to blogging? Well, first because the SF Chronicle won't let me come to the office in a necktie and boxers. But also because print journalism about the Internet is as pathetic as a two-legged leprous puppy, and half as healthy.

Know what's bad about paper? Paper's slow. Paper can't tell you that OMG Steve Jobs is pulling out the long-awaited iPhone on stage right this second. Hell, even TV couldn't bring a bulky setup into Jobs's Macworld keynote to tell you that. Yes, I'm one of those jackasses who believes blogging is The Future Of Journalism. Not because we write any better (we're even worse) or because we're any more honest (we're liars).

We're not any closer to the truth. We're just closer to the facts.