Eharmony is for Cattle

Exactly what kind of person tries to hook up via eharmony?

What I want to know is why nobody finds the television ads offensive
or at least ridiculous. Is this a dating site for retarded people? What
kind of American adult believes that your ideal mate is necessarily of
your own race or is ideal because you hold the same opinions and
believe the same things. Your ideal mate is yourself? That would make
ideal sex masturbation, and if this is so, well, why don’t I just
strengthen my hands and get ready for a life alone? What could be less
interesting than somebody who is exactly like me? I already know me,
why do I want to know another me?

The ads are full of white people who want to date other white people
of their own age-group and with a similar income. I think that I have
seen one of two non-white couples, but then I don’t watch that much TV,
there could have been more, maybe three or four. It’s hard not to think
the idea is a little racist, in the old-world stick-to-what-you-know
kind of way. They way most people are racist.

So yes, I know that such people exist, I just didn’t know that they
existed in sufficient numbers to drive a mega-site like eharmony. I
imagine them to the boring, unimaginative, mediocre individuals that do
everything the way people before them did, the way you are supposed to.
They hold the same opinions about attractiveness and success that
everyone around them does, and will never do anything remotely creative
or exceptional unless they flip out and kill their co-workers one day,
and hell, even that’s been done. I know a lot of these people. You
would think that by the time they got to, say, thirty years-old they
might have looked in the mirror enough to see how utterly unexceptional
they are, but it doesn’t work that way. Their lameness is where they
get their comfort. As long as another person of their
age/racial/social/professional group is doing what they do, as long as
they are not the only people doing something, they feel good about
themselves. The secret to not being alone is the familiar.

To not be interested in the new, to not be adventurous enough to try
something other than what  you already know, to want exactly the thing
that you have been taught to want and to set your goals as low as
possible, that’s death right there. The lovers of eharmony might as
well be dead.