Crap Towns title goes to London
Capital beats Bradford and Chipping Norton to No 1 spot in Crap Towns Returns, while previous winner Hull drops out of top 50. Was it the pot-holed roads, which lead into the capital, which gave London the winning edge?
London was catapulted to victory by multiple nominations for its dismal suburbs, murder miles, high house prices, City bankers and a transport system that abandons late-night revellers to the mercy of rickshaws, minicabs or night buses, "a must for all fans of vomit, paranoid schizophrenics and R&B played through tinny mobile-phone speakers".
The city's trump card was undoubtedly its most affluent parish, Mayfair: "Its inhabitants are virtually without exception the biggest shower of needy, self-important bumwipes in London, with a self-pity complex and misplaced sense of entitlement to match. The architecture is either dull west London stucco or a twattish approach at some kind of meaningful landmark building. Either way it's rubbish. Most importantly the pubs are shit. And full of people who live in Mayfair."
Sam Jordison, co-founder and editor of Crap Towns, said: "People in London just have no idea what's happening in the rest of the country. They take a lot of what works in Britain, but you don't see much sign of them putting anything back. I think that's what lies behind the rage of a lot of the nominations.
"A lot of the entries for other places are what you might call affectionate hatred, as you might tease a member of the family but know you have to put up with them. That's not the case with London – the hatred is real."
Crap Towns: the full longlist for 2013
Bury St Edmunds
Stoke On Trent