Gillette Ad Campaign Cuts the Wrong Way

BOSTON (Digital Dementia Business Wire) - Gillette, the maker of razors, shaving kits and related toiletries, was severely criticized for its latest advertising campaign promoting their newest multiple-bladed shaver, the Premium Mach-5 Pentablade.

The offending ads which have appeared on television, in magazines and in internet pop-ups, pose the question, “What possible added value could a 5-bladed razor bring to my life?” and challenge consumers to use their imaginations.  The ads depict hairless kitty cats under the slogan “Gillette: The best a cat can get.” 

Animal rights activists expressed outrage.  Consumer groups and religious conservatives are calling for a boycott of Gillette products.  Some television and print media companies are balking at displaying the provocative new advertisements. 

Gillette Corporation’s top executives and their advertising division heads deny that any ulterior or subliminal messages were intended by their new advertising campaign. 

The company said that its new advertising campaign was intended only to get across the idea to consumers that there actually might be some incremental value to using a shaver with five blades. 

“It’s just some light-hearted advertising.  I really don’t see why anybody should get worked up about it.  Hell, we didn’t even actually shave those cats for the photo shoots.  Those poor kitty cats were … uh …. they were … uh …. they were all cancer patients.  Yeah, that’s it!  They were all cancer patients who had recently undergone chemotherapy.  Shit!  We’re not the kind of company that is going to ask anybody to shave their pussy just so we can show it in our advertising!  Who the hell comes up with these twisted interpretations?   Nobody in their right mind likes shaved pussies anyway.  I can’t believe you’re even suggesting that.  Come on, get your minds out of the gutter!” said Gillette company spokesman Harry Muff. 

Despite the outcry from the usual corners (the ultra-conservative and the soul-less, health-food eating, politically correct pansy-asses who have far more in common with each other than they care to admit), sales of Gillette products have gone through the roof. 

Gillette says they will not pull the ads and asserts that “… most Americans understand and appreciate humor in advertising.  Gillette corporate spokesman Harry Muff said, “To all those who might have been offended by our advertising or are worried that someone somewhere might get the wrong idea or actually do something risqué with our shaving blades we can only say ‘Get a life!’ ” 

A lady-Gillette version of the Premium Mach 5 PentaBlade is scheduled to be released next month.  This reporter, for one, can't wait to see the ads for those!