Barry Artiste, Now Public Contributor
Now I have heard everything, Global Warming is now the answer to everyones problem. Don't feel like going to work, blame it on Global Warming. Your Teenager too lazy to clean, your strapped for cash and can't make this month's house payment ? Blame it on Global Warming.
Some Now Public Readers will think I have gone off the deep end here. Why? Well why not, the media are reporting daily the list of "Convienient Excuses" made by everyone from Failed businesses such as Global Warming killing Bulgarian Hookers Agencies ability to make money and attracting talent, to the animal world of Scottish Grey Seals seduction techniques, to exploding cat orgies in Toronto.
My Final Thought
I personally believe Global Warming is a concern, but the world using it as a "Convienient Excuse" and buzzword for every social ailment or business failure will desensitize people who will one day just throw up their hands and treat Global Warming as "White Noise", thereby placing "Global Warming" into the annals of societies useless commercialized literary phrases such as "Too Much Information!", "U Want Fries with that?", "Bling, Bling" etc.
url="http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/story.html?id=7d95e996-4593-4188-ae60-75c0086aa776&k=12315"]n explosion in Toronto's stray cat population is the latest phenomenon being blamed on global warming, joining a growing list of evils that includes increases in hay fever and seal mating as well as decreases in the supply of maple syrup and Bulgarian prostitutes.
While climate change is frequently cited as the cause for hurricanes, tornadoes and droughts, not all of its alleged effects are Biblical in proportion. The Toronto Humane Society recently announced its shelter is filled to capacity and cited global warming as a possible cause of the overcrowding.
Lee Oliver, a Humane Society spokesman, said the warmer weather appears to be giving cats a chance to mate three times each year instead of the usual two.
"Cats are now copulating in February, which is supposed to be a really cold month," Mr. Oliver said. "But animals are getting out because it's relatively warm, their internal signals seem to be telling them that it is time to mate because the warm weather's coming, and so we're seeing an earlier litter."
Mr. Oliver said the February fornication produces a litter in late March or early April with broods following in May and August. And while each year's first batch of kittens used to be smaller, the Humane Society is now finding all three litters are roughly the same size.
"The less hardy cats who may have waited until the warmer weather are now mating sooner," Mr. Oliver said.
The result has been a sharp increase in the cat population. The Humane Society last year had to find homes for roughly 6,000 cats, compared with 3,000 five years ago.
Durham University researchers also report Scottish grey seals are having more sex thanks to global warming. Male seals tend to have harems of 10 to 15 females, keeping them close to guard against unwanted suitors. As drinking water becomes scarce, the females must travel further afield and other males are able to seduce them.
But not everyone's love life has been improved by climate change. Brothel owners in Bulgaria are now reportedly having trouble attracting workers. The owners claim the best prostitutes have moved to ski resorts, where they entertain tourists who cannot ski because of a lack of snow.
"We have hired students, but they are temps and nothing like our elite girls," Petra Nestorova, who runs an escort agency in Sofia, told the United Kingdom's Metro newspaper.
Business has also dropped off for American maple syrup producers, who say global warming means they must begin their harvest earlier each year. In
Ohio, buds appeared on maple trees last January, meaning producers in the state were unable to tap their trees at all.
While robbing the world of maple syrup, global warming may be giving us more poison ivy. Experts at Duke University found increased levels of carbon dioxide -- a greenhouse gas -- made poison ivy grow larger and produce more of its skin-irritating chemical. Separate studies have suggested that global warming also allows ragweed and other plants to flower longer, making life worse for sufferers of hay fever and other allergies.