A Guide For The Insulted Cubano

This year the Cubano Community will release a new generation of offspring onto the World. We at Cyber ink want to prepare those young unspoiled heads of mush to face that hard cold world prepared. They will encounter many obstacles, but one obstacle they may not be ready for is the SCI (Standard Cuban Insult), This new generation has been sheltered from these attacks, so we will give them the top SCI’s that closet racists and latent racists are using against Cubanos at the College Campuses and at certain political forums on the Net.

First these SCI’s are usually used when the other party sees they might be on the losing end of an argument. Since Cubans are very proud people they almost always divulge their nationality. So in most heated arguments the other party will more than likely know that you are Cuban. Now remember never show too much emotion as they will try to stir the already hot blood in your body. So say your having a political conversation that turns ugly, your opponent sees they are losing thus may at any moment unleash these SCIs.

list of top SCI’s (Standard Cuban Insult)

1. I’m glad Castro kicked you out of Cuba.= The first thing you will think is “i’ve never been there”, true but they are referring to your parents or a family member. But don’t worry 99.9% of the Cubans you know couldn’t wait to get out and some risked their lives to.

2. Didn’t you get here on a banana boat = They are not talking about the Banana Boat you were on in Cancun after a few beers at Senor Frogs. Be assured that they do not know what they are saying at this point. easy to dodge.

3. Your mom has a big Cuban Ass = This one is probably true. Mom jokes can lead to a physical reaction so full restraint is required in men, women should just turn and show the fine young Cuban assets you possess and say “yeah but it used to look like this twenty years ago” men will instantly be disoriented and women insanely jealous.

4. You Wetback = The word “wetback” is a disparaging term for an illegal Mexican immigrant or worker who crosses the Rio Grande into the United States. This does not apply to you since you are not Mexican, Cubans are legal as soon as they reach dry US

soil.

5. Your probably a Marielito = Marielito is a term applied to roughly 125,000 people who fled to the United States from the Cuban port of Mariel as part of the exodus of refugees in 1980. Reference - Scarface - Impossible you were not born yet If your parents didn’t show up in 1980 they aren’t either. If they did its a close one but chances are your opponent has no idea when they arrived. (88% of them are now homeowners).

6. I don’t hate Cubans just you = Typical ploy to fool you and make you think they are not racists. They are! They will start showing their real colors soon. Thats like a KKK saying he has Black Friends no he doesn’t.

7.Why don’t “you” go free Cuba = This is a very popular tactic and a sign of desperation. by this point they would have forgotten what the argument was about. keep cool you never contemplated renting a boat with some friends and racing 90 miles to free Cuba anyway.

8. Tom Fiedler was not sorry = In staff meetings Tuesday [October 3, 2006], Miami Herald reporters asked whether the paper was caving to critics. Editor Tom Fiedler dismissed that notion, saying the ‘22 people who listen to Cuban radio’ were being stirred up by ‘little chihuahuas nipping at our heels.’ He later apologized for his choice of words.” this is a sneak attack insult you would not expect it. but this one might be true he wasn’t sorry.

9. Wanna see my new Che shirt? = This one is a classic its the sucker punch of insults to Cubans. This one you know because of all the times your dad freaked out when he would see Carlos Santana or some other brain dead celebrity wearing the Che shirt and pulled out the Humberto Fontava book.”the Real Che Guervara” and read passages out loud.

10. Cuba has great health care = This one is easy, most probably you were the one who would pick up the drugs for your family members at the pharmacy and drop it off at the mules house. oh and don’t forget when they cut Tio julios left leg only to realize it was the right one that had to be amputated. (resulting in the first ever Cuban leg transplant).

11. Bean Flicker = This one was reported being used in Ft. Lauderdale we checked it out and unless your a lesbian it does not apply to you.

12. Macaca = This does not mean more sh#T. this is related to the failed re-election campaign of Republican U.S. Senator George Allen of Virginia who generated much controversy after he used the word macaca in reference to an Indian American.

13. Island Beaner = Widely used in Florida to describe Cubans. Relax another sign of desperation.

14. Jibaro = No problem does not apply to you but added to our list to piss off Puerto Ricans Traditional term for mountain coffee bean pickers. Hillbilly.

15. Langosta = Means “Lobster”, slang for Cuban women because like the lobster they carry all their meat in the tail. Refer to (3)

16. Petrolero = This ones is a universal insult for the guys Hispanics Who Are Attracted To Blacks. Means “Oil Drillers.

17. Rafter = One of the most common insults to Cubans, if you haven’t been called a rafter your probably not Cuban. this means Rafting across water to illegally enter the US. Also: Raft Jockey, Raft Captain, Raft Monkey, etc

18. Salty = Cubans Who Have Recently Arrived To The U.S.. They’re salty because of all the days they were on the Ocean water. (rumor is favorite of Coast Guard )

19. Spivic = Another universal insult does not apply unless you drive a Honda Civic.

20. Montana = Derived from the movie “Scarface” which stars a Cuban immigrant drug-lord named “Tony Montana”, slur usually said with a Spanish accent.

We at Cyber ink hope we helped young Cubanos in preparing this list of SCI’s. After years of overprotective parents and private schools you will now be ready to enter the real world which is mostly very busy insulting each other. Remember to never return or engage haters and racists just be aware when insulted that you have been insulted and reply respectably and you will always come out ahead.