Headless Girl Competes in Gymnastics Tournament

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Headless Girl Competes in Gymnastics Tournament

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MIAMI (Digital Dementia News Services) - A freak of nature from Venezuela is successfully competing in the 2006 international gymnastics tournament currently underway in Miami.  Born headless, Valentina Moreno of Maracaibo has made it into the finals in the gymnastic tournament that has drawn youthful competitors from around the globe. 

“We all think Valentina is really cool,” said Becky Truesdale, a Canadian contestant from Ottawa.  “Apart from looking like she escaped from a horror movie, she just fits right in!” 

“Some people say she is just getting the sympathy vote because of her headless condition,” observed one spectator.  “I am not so sure.  She’s so freaky just to look at that I don’t think anybody has gotten around to feeling sorry for her.  Just looking at her makes my skin crawl so bad I don’t think it fits anymore.” 

“Valentina Moreno is probably the most astounding case of a person with a severe abnormality overcoming the adversity and successfully competing in an international sporting event,” says competition judge Al B. Dammed.  “There have been others with deformities who participated in our competition, though perhaps none with conditions as freaky as hers.  In 1965 we had a young man who competed in the pole vault even though he had no arms or hands.  He didn’t win but did amazingly well considering how he had to grip the pole with his teeth.” 

Apart from her lack of a head, Valentina is anatomically intact and can function quite normally in most situations, albeit with some adaptations that are both ingenious and bizarre.  She looks forward to returning to Venezuela and completing her education. 

“Valentina hopes to land a job as a flight attendant after she graduates,” said the proud mother who stood behind her headless daughter during the press conference. 

Valentina, who has to resort to communicating through sign language, says she is delighted to have achieved her life-long ambition.  “Even if I don’t win the first place trophy, I know in my heart that I have done my best and have truly overcome my handicap.” says the plucky headless Venezuelan. 

Asked by reporters, “How do you eat?” the bubbly Venezuelan signaled, “Don’t ask me that.  You really don’t want to know.”