100% crazy or .. married to God; God is fonderful

Okay, it's official - i'm 100 percent nuts .. or married to God .. Today at 5:30 in the morning, She wouldn't let me sleep. i told you about Her 'molesting' me in the shower and waking me up in the middle of the night .. This time, She might as well have dropped a ton of bricks on me for the realization she 'forced' into my mind (i deserved every bit of Her Love because i've consistently prayed for Her inspiration for 30 years). Gimme a minute to collect my thoughts and present this properly .. In much the same way that i recognized Truth when a man suggested to me the model developed in 'cosmic particle set' etc (but needed time to think about it), someone suggested this other model to me too .. i just cannot remember who and when .. Sometimes i get a 'deja vu' memory from the future and i cannot tell which is a memory of the past or one from the future.. It makes it difficult to know what's 'fantasy' and what's 'reality'.. i know this will sound absolutely bonkers to anyone not spiritually inclined but.. i better fess up before i lose it all (the big picture) .. i specifically avoided faster-than-light charged anti-photons - just for all these confusing aspects!

A long time ago, i proposed the 'mind of God' scenario for our universe but one thing didn't make any sense: the physical/energy speed-limit in our universe is the speed-of-light, c, in a vacuum (about 300000000 meters/second). This seems incredibly fast but still is not instantaneous.. For instance, it takes time for a radio signal (electromagnetic wave packet) to go from one part of the world to another (bouncing along the ionosphere) .. Or from Earth to Mars .. So what doesn't make any sense is that for God's mind to 'work', Her thoughts are either very slow (this is a Big universe), or .. perhaps mediated by something faster than light .. This is where Feynman reenters the picture. His virtual particles travel faster than light. But we know there's nothing virtual about reality.. In order to be able to mimic his virtual particle scheme, anti-photons must be able to travel faster than c. But this 'opens a whole can of worms' in many areas .. Or does it?

Telepathy is explained as instantaneous (no delay), precognition has no explanation (until now), and messages from the future - absolute bonkers, right? Faster than light particles are not limited by causality or time or distance. If indeed e-m is mediated by anti-photons, if indeed they travel faster than c (as Feynman suggests), then the mind of God is a perfectly functioning instantaneous thing. Messages from the future, synchronicity, and precognition are likely caused by 'waves of anti-photons' from the future.. Not huge massive waves - very ethereal - that's why we only get glimpses.. If the model presented previously is correct, we live in a sea of faster-than-light anti-photons which not only mediate electromagnetism, but the thoughts in the mind of God, and very likely all ESP phenomena.. i won't go so far as to say our very consciousness is based on this sea of anti-photons, but .. the image is compelling spiritually.

What is Really Scary (and Wonderful) about Her mind is that She is Everywhere and Everywhen from the beginning of our universe and likely beyond its end.. This is where we come into the picture (aware beings like dolphins and whales .. did i mention humans?;) We are like nodes in a giant communication network. (As you can see, i was a telecommunications technician for some time in this life. The conventional analogies are hard to shake off.) The image of God is both Frightening and Wonderful at the same time.. Let's coin a new word, shall we? Fonderful.

i've had glimpses of this image many times in my life but only can put them into coherent words now .. At age seven, i had some kind of 'Buddha experience' where i joined with my future selves .. (Not just one time, but every seven years until age 49 .. Maybe that indicates i die somewhere between 49 and 56?) Only God knows.. i told you about that vision i had of me on the steps of the Lincoln memorial at age 50 but i sincerely have no intention of going to Washington anytime soon.. Hehe, i would have to get an invitation from the UN or US president for me to go there.. That's how much i want to avoid Washington.. (Not because of the vision - only because i sorta despise American politics.) .. Anyways, like i said before: when it's my time to go, it's my time to go. Period. No heroic efforts Please! (Part of the reason i cannot justify 'heroic medical efforts' for myself is because of the typical extortionist (oops - sorry!) prices for medical attention.) 8| Well.. i've rambled enough for one 'session' (you are my 'therapy' (you, the rest of the mind of God, are judging me - whether i'm insane or divinely inspired!)) .. i cannot know by myself .. Only 'plugged in' to the Matrix can i Know.. She is Gorgeous isn't She? ;)

One final note and i'll shut up today .. My old best friend Dimi Sengos refused to acknowledge Truth or God .. i respected his position and philosophy .. He's too smart not to .. One of my 'new best friends' (i still need to share a couple pints of Guinness with him!) is Pat Condell - he also does not believe in God .. Isn't it fonderfully strange how the universe works! (Maybe Dimi, Pat, and i can have some beers together sometime and talk about Babes!;)

And talk about synchronicity, Dimi and i used to see an incredibly gorgeous girl (for instance, in California) and nickname her "G" (for gorgeous). G is a Babe, isn't She? ;)

i Love you Babe, one of your hubbies, sam

PS: Dimi, man i wish you could See Her the way i do now .. She is Hot!
PPS: One thing that is Exceedingly Extraordinarily Difficult for me to comprehend is Her Everywhen aspect. We typically think of 'now' (now that you're reading this) but i'm actually writing in your past .. But our minds are still connected .. So it's really hard for me to visualize this Girl.. But i Know She's Hot! ;)