Boy Hasn't Slept in 3 Years

His parents have to take shifts watching him day and night.

abc.com

A 3-year-old boy who never sleeps--how can his mom possibly deal? We're short-tempered enough when our kids sleep 8-10 hours a night. Imagine if they only slept 8-10 minutes...or not at all. 

That's the reality for Shannon Lamb, mother of Rhett. Since Rhett was a baby, he's been awake nearly 24/7. He has a rare condition called chiari malformation, which puts pressure on the brain stem and prevents sleep. This week, Rhett had surgery that will hopefully relieve the pressure and allow him to snooze, but doctors say there may not be any changes for several months or possibly even a year.

We talked to friend of momlogic Jill Spivack, LCSW, founder of Sleepy Planet, about what comes next. Once he is able to begin sleeping, here are her top tips (also applicable to moms of all sleep-challenged children--hallelujah!):

• Create a "mommy bed."
I'd recommend that the parents first accompany him to his room at night before he tries to sleep initially and to make a "mommy bed" or "daddy bed" on the floor near his bed and encourage him to try to relax and tell him that they'll be right by his side.

• Make your move.
Once he's able to sleep better with his parents nearby, they'll probably want to start moving themselves out of the room slowly as he learns to become more independent in his sleep. I'd recommend some sort of reward system in the morning (when he's able to stay in his room at night). He'll probably test boundaries once he's physiologically able to sleep because he's accustomed to having his parents up with him all night.

• Create a sleep book.
Over time, his parents can explain the importance of sleep for his body to have energy and be strong and that they want to help him learn to get the rest he needs. They can make a little book (with stick figures) about his whole experience and how his body is finally ready to sleep since he had the surgery to make him feel better. I'd have them outline the steps in his bedtime routine--bath, brushing teeth, pjs, stories, laying down and closing his eyes--and that the next step is to try to rest until the morning when the sun comes up.

• Stay strong.
After a traumatic beginning of life with a child, parents often compensate for the pain they've all lived through by continuing to respond to habits over time that are actually possible to change if they'd like to. Ultimately, the greatest gift for this little guy would be for him to be able to relax into sleep and to sleep through the night, as that will contribute to better attention, coordination, focus and emotional evenness. Helping the child learn to become a more independent sleeper should be the ultimate goal.

Shannon Lamb is a superhero in our eyes. We hope she and her son finally get what they deserve: A good's night sleep!

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