Like a Deer in Headlights
Be prepared to be stunned. Be prepared to read the most inspirational article you have ever read. Warning: this article may change your life. You have been warned.
Today at the pool was totally different from yesterday. Today there was only me and my mother's Guideposts magazine. The article my mom wanted me to read was actually just where I stopped to come home to write this article. I had read the little magazine almost cover-to-cover. That's part of the inspiration of this .. Yesterday, I met a wonderful family: Kenya, Rod, Megan, and her little cousin. The girls and I played pretty much all day long in the pool. Before that, there was a goddess and her two friends. The goddess reminded me how physical beauty just stuns me like a deer in headlights. For those who have not lived in the north and don't know how that expression got going, typically a deer will stop in the middle of a road in the night and stare right into your headlights as you approach them: totally stunned. I'm much the same way with a goddess when they grace my path.. [he] So you know a little about me by my description above.. What I didn't tell you about was how I also had deep conversations about life with Kenya and Rod individually. And how amazed I am by Rod's story of success. He owns a small business in South Florida that is very niche oriented. In order to protect his identity, I won't give details. Same for other characters in this story..
B is a grocery clerk I met locally.. I joked with her one day about going to New Zealand with me. It was just a joke but.. Much later, I realized my subconscious had blurted out a secret wish.. I truly did want to go to New Zealand with her.. So idiotically in my silly style, I made a youtube video for her on the way down from Carolina (getting my hangglider from a friend). Part of the reason I did this was for her sake: I did not want her to feel uncomfortable in front of her work peers in case she wanted to reject me.. Another reason was I am typically terrified of encounters with ladies I really like. Terrified by rejection.. So.. Again I idiotically made this video and watched it several times myself.. I enjoyed laughing at myself.. But I did not give her the URL right away.. I needed time to build courage for even that.. To make sure I was doing the right thing.. Eventually, I gave her the URL at what I thought was the proper moment.. I ran away in fear (literally). I observed the video was being watched too many times.. So I took it down. The situation was beginning to feel very strange and unnatural. I avoided her work schedule and when I managed to have enough courage to go to the store during her schedule, I tried to avoid her work station.. I really felt like a total idiot. I wanted desperately to apologize for my idiocy .. Weeks passed.. The very night I worked up the courage to apologize to her, not to my surprise, there were police to escort me out of the store.. Before they 'arrested me', I did manage to apologize to a coworker of B. Again, I was calm and somehow anticipated this experience. In fact, I felt like I was playing out a role predetermined for me.. It was uncanny.. Discussing the situation with four local policemen (and woman) sorta changed my life. Previously, because I had grown up near the tail-end of the 'hippy era', I had thot of police as 'pigs' but.. Because of the respect they showed me right in front of the store by listening to my side of the story, I now feel I could easily take a bullet (if needed) to protect any one of their lives. I'm dead serious here. I would take a bullet, if the situation required, for any local policeman or woman. They risk their lives every day for the security of the local community. Do you see how one simple mistake can transform your life? Treated in a positive way?
Now I have an undying respect for honorable police. My world was changed by performing my mistake but at the same time.. Let me explain..
After that experience, I learned the power of prayer. I prayed for the policemen and woman involved. I prayed for the over-protective staff of the store. I ended up praying for all the 'enemies' in my life.. Even Satan! I prayed for his happiness and fulfillment in doing good. What a prayer! All inspired by my 'mistake' and how I dealt with the consequences! Yesterday at the pool, grazing paths of a goddess, sharing love with a wonderful family, and meeting two dental students discussing some issues about Mandy, my dentist-Bahai friend,.. All were like ripples in a pond started by my one 'mistake'. What does this tell you? Love is never wrong. Love is never wrong. Love is never wrong. It's how you express it that things can get dicey.. If you're honest with your feelings, if you're respectful to the recipient, love is never wrong.
I'm pretty sure I'll see the goddess again.. I opened the gate so they could leave the pool area. Watching her talk with her friends was mesmerizing.. There was no way in heaven or hell I could ever wrench my eyes from her (except to adore her friends as well – to be fair). I don't skimp on love. I project it through my eyes as fully as I can. If a goddess is in a group, I adore her friends too.. It can't be helped. Love inspires everything.. Yes, in a real sense, I fell in love with that goddess and her every move.. And I fell in love with Rod and his family.. They are so beautiful to me. Now I'm actually crying; forgive me.. The strength of love they inspire cannot be bound to my heart alone.. I must share in my way..
By trusting me with the girls, Kenya was loving me. By listening to my story, Kenya was loving me. By Rod not automatically having a jealousy attack, Rod was loving me. By listening to my story, he was loving me. The girls loved me by simply playing with me.. I was surrounded by love. Why? Was it simply because I prayed for Satan? No.. It's also because I open my heart to life every day.. I open my heart to people every day. I try my best to project love with my eyes..
I thought Kristie and Dakota would be the 'end of all show stoppers' but I'm continually amazed by people at the pool.. Mariko says it's just a reflection of me but.. I suspect they all desperately need to love and be loved.. Julia dared to look me in the eye for about an hour. She was perhaps the first woman in my life to check me out. Do you know how inspiring that is? It took me two days to write her a love letter but.. Mariko helped me compose a less scary one.. What an angel in my life Mariko is.. She keeps me from sabotaging my own future.. She's really a miracle in my life.. Wow.
The fact a faculty is willing to participate with me on a project in thirty years of approaching academics shows you.. It shows you something really miraculous is happening in my life.. What is it? Do I really have to spell it out? ;)
Dear reader, I love you as fully as God loves us.. There is so much love in my heart, sometimes I feel it's going to burst out of my chest.. This planet is so full of people ready to open their hearts to you.. All you have to do is look.. Love is all around you..
Will you open your eyes and heart along with me?