Do you have the option of giving up on your own self?
You are confronted to options on an on-going basis, and you use judgments to formulate what you think is the most appropriate choice. However are you aware of the origins of your judgments? Are they the result of the conditioning to which you have been subjected since your early childhood? Are they based on conscious trains of thoughts that ultimately allow you to assess whether one way is certainly more productive and rewarding than another? Could they be based on a succession of unconscious or even anti-conscious considerations?
The direction that you choose to give your life does not have to make any sense to anyone else, since it is all about your very own life. Thus, there are people who elect to self-destruct because such demeanor utterly serves their agendas. Other folks would rather continue to grow, since life as it currently is cannot be enough for them. They have to consistently seek greater. What about all those men and women who know that they have the potential to generate so much more, start whichever process is required to reach that goal, before abandoning? They have the very best intentions, are motivated, but choose to give up on themselves as soon as they decide that it has become a worthless mission. What makes them firmly believe that their sole option in life is to revert back to their initial state? Actually, can this even be an option? It certainly is for a large majority of men and women in this society. Do they know how destructive and counter-productive this choice is?
::: What makes so many people give up on themselves?
Inside our society, the action of quitting triggers a tremendous volume of judgments, which themselves carry series of extremely negative connotations. To quit is viewed as totally wrong. It is perceived as an obvious mark of emotional and/or physical weakness. How many times have you heard the most fervent supporters of the hegemonic thought relentlessly state that only losers quit? Well, if that is the case, I must have been a loser on numerous occasions. When you take a closer look at it, what does it mean to quit? What does it signify to give up? If you have embarked on an adventure that has ceased to work for you and your life, for what reason would you force yourself to continue and, consequently, endure a situation that has become totally annihilatory and calamitous? This does not make any sense to me. I personally do not believe in masochism because I utterly dislike pain. To stay in a situation that is not functioning anymore is full-on masochism. What good can be generated from choosing to embrace such a stance? And yet, to quit automatically makes you a loser. How many individuals are staying inside abusive, dreadful, sad, mediocre or unfulfilling relationships simply because they do not want to be seen as quitters, and therefore as losers?
Change does not have to be easy and comfortable at first. It could, however it is more likely to create some level of turmoil here and there. Change means the necessity to let go of old habits, so a brand new perspective can be generated, developed and enhanced. Hopefully, it is all about letting go of destructive habits, so an enriching and highly rewarding alternative can emerge. The problem is that the notion of “brighter horizons” is often times totally unknown to those folks who are seeking them. And thinking of the unknown is overwhelming and frightening to most. The simple projection of being displaced or misplaced fuels the need to maintain the status quo at all costs. The decisions that a better life is not deserved, regardless of the reasons that are constructed to justify this viewpoint, are incentives that push the instigators of the change to backtrack in their endeavors. Moreover, why would you create a life that is full of bliss when there is so much misery all around you? Well, if the latter depicts the foundation on which your belief system is based, I am urging you to reconsider the way you think. It is a reality that change is not always comfortable at first. It is true that it becomes extremely fulfilling very quickly. It requires that you continually trust yourself and your ability to seek greater, regardless of the amount of time that is needed to reach this next stage in your life.
When you refuse to pursue what you know is right for your life, you inexorably end-up facing two alternatives. You either divorce every single bit of what you are and start cruising though life totally asleep and at the mercy of others’ decisions, or you become addicted to something or someone. In all cases, your existence takes a turn for the absolute worst. A great majority of those people who have already decided that sending themselves into a comatose was their sole solution to survive in this world are already lost. The rest may elect to wake up one day, and only a very few will bring a drastic change to their lives. Those who have found refuge in addiction always know why they have gone there in the first place. They certainly do not want to remember it, since it would undeniably interfere with their choice to abuse themselves. But it is always there, somewhere in the back of their minds. And it takes a lot of courage to acknowledge it. It is the same type of courage that they initially required on the day they elected to numb their perceptions, so they would forget how phenomenal they intrinsically are.
::: Is giving up on yourself a selfish act?
Selfishness is quite a subjective concept that can carry a connotation that is much different from the one that the hegemonic thought has entrenched for ages. Society judges the action of choosing for your own self as selfish. The reason is quite simple: you do not have the right to choose for yourself, because it means that you refuse to fit inside the box that has been constructed for you. When you elect to deviate from this fate that is relentlessly imposed on you, your attitude is viewed as defiant, self-centered and vain. But what suddenly happens when you choose to give up on yourself? Isn’t it what this society wants of you at all costs? Remember, as soon as you have given all your powers away, you instantly become this soulless entity that is now so easy to control and manipulate. Once you have surrendered, you basically have no other option but the dreadful obligation to fit-in. Does this represent an attractive alternative? It surely is for those whose lifelong mission is to crush you and alienate you. What about this decision that you have made to give up you on yourself? Is it a reflection of this total lack of respect and gratitude that you have for all your potential? In other words, does your selfishness that consists in belonging no matter what prevent you from thriving like never before?
This world is full of men and women who, at some point in their lives, have chosen to abandon everything that they are. Was it out of discouragement? Was it due to a lack of ambition? Were they not necessarily aware of the extent of their potential? Or maybe did they have this insatiable need to relate to other men and women who also had elected to give up on their own lives? Agendas are multiple, which make generalizations totally impossible and irrelevant. Still, the number of people who give up is overwhelmingly high and it keeps on increasing exponentially. There is a pattern that needs to be identified, because it is obviously deeply implanted inside the minds. What makes it okay to stop and regress? There are not that many people who stand at the top of the pyramid. The masses are at the bottom. And the sensation of belonging is much more predominant when one feels surrounded by many. It is seen as the easy solution, so you can never be and/or feel alone. Nothing has to be painful in life. Ease is a virtue that only a very few are not reluctant to embrace. However the choice of taking the easy route when it creates absolutely no value whatsoever is totally outrageous.
Do you have the feeling that you owe anything to yourself? If so, what is it? And once you have acknowledged it, how does it sound? If you have decided that you need to be the very best that you can be at all times, regardless of what that means, do you constantly feel empowered to live life to the full extent of your ability? Does this sound like a reasonable option? And does it make you a selfish individual? Others will definitely spend their entire energy judging you as such, simply because they are totally unwilling to see life as this fantastic adventure that only happens once. Their existence is solely limited to working eight hours a day in a job that they resent, so they can have just enough money to pay all their bills. If you dare to have a fulfilling life, they have no other choice but to punish you for your arrogance. Allow them to judge you. This is certainly one of the best compliments that you can receive. Their selfishness is characterized by the master plan that they have elaborated and that is supposed to bring you down to their level. If you do not comply, they call you selfish. Do not make the mistake to believe that you are the selfish one!
Everyone is confronted to choices at all times. Some of those choices have the true potential of being life-changing. When you ignore them, you basically quit on your own self. And at the same time, it also makes you relatable. To acknowledge those choices allows you to grow. But the price to pay is to be labeled as a selfish and arrogant prick. Oh well…