Fast Food Heat Lamps Can Cure Hemorrhoids

Who needs Preparation H when you've got food-warming lights? Apparently
those big infrared radiating bulbs are the secret to hemorrhoid relief.
Hemorrhoids form when veins where the sun don't shine become inflamed.
It turns out that when a concentrated form of the same infrared light
used to keep Big Macs warm is shined on the affected area, for less
than a second, it helps shrink the inflamed area.

Doctors
say the blast of heat is relatively painless, but then again, they
always say that. Recovery takes about a day, then you can get back to
your pre-inflamed derrière routine.