God's fluid intellect
When i watch improv (whether Thai or English) i'm always dazzled by the fluid intelligence exhibited by the players. i'm currently in Lesson 8 of the transformation-team's series. But i haven't yet begun the lesson.. i just caught a glimpse of the subjects and had to get some sleep. So i'm just guessing at this point. ;) i'm gonna write the following 'on the fly' as an example of fluid intelligence without backspacing or correcting/editing myself afterwards. Please forgive any typos or misspellings.
imagine three inprov artists makng fun of me and (this would be quite an honor btw) my ideas. i think the true 'asid test' of a man claiming humility is to make fun of him - if he can swallow it in stride, if he can laugh with you, then i suppose he's actaually humble. ;) so .. here goes .. imagine three artists making fun of me in an imporov setting.. for convenience, we'll use the labels: S=sam, L=luciver, and N=neutral moderator. (it's actually difficult to write like this without correcting myself - spelling errors and so on so please bear with me..)
L: sam, you arrogant f___, so you thinnk you proved god exists?
S: sam i am i eat green eggs and ham
N: come on guys show sum respect for eachother
S: i cannot eat them here or there i cannot eath them anywhere
L: answer the f___ing question asshole
S: okay .. yes, i believe i did prove God exists scienfiically
L: and you think you can 'tell the world' and help them find God..
S: is that a question or just you talking to yourself?
N: look guys, if you cannot treat eachother with a modicum of respect,..
S: what does modicum mean?
[L interrupts]L: JACKass, you KNOW what modicum means; stop trying to deflect the argument
S: sorry Satan .. i just feel .. sometimes .. i'd like to SING!
N: stop that! stop that! no singing!
S: so sam, you thinkn youj're createive like Monty Python?
S: no, more like a dog in the studio just sniffing his balls..
L: very funny..
N: 'funny guys', can we get back to the argument?
[L glares at S]
S: i guess so..
L: dindn't you think you were the Antichrist or something when you were a kid?
S: yea, but i fell off the Mount of Doom
L: so you switched sides? you defected?
S: yes, but if you read my writings, you see i'm very critical of Christians and ftheir faith Jesus was Christ
L: so you are actually the Antichrist
S: no, i'm more like the Father of Sam who whispers to dogs in the night..
[N is intent on keeping his mouth shut now]
SL: so you're so fantastically intelligent and SO humble that you think you've solved problems it humanity has not been able to solve so for centuries?
S: it's not actually my intelligence that proved God exists
L: [rolls his eyes] i can see where this is going
S: you know what i'm gonna say - God proved God exists
L: doesn't taht sound the least beit arrogantto you?
S: God only wants recotgnition for her creation - nothing more
L: look, i know for a fact God exists - i told that Bitch personally to F___ Off!
S: so why do you have such a problem if God proves God exists?
L: because it's so freaking self-indulgent! first, you want worship then you want adoration?
S: speaking for God now, i never asked for wordship - that was you and your wiley ways trying to manipulate ppl into thininking God needs worship.. She Don't.
L: okay smarty pants, tell me what 'God needs'
S: What's the one constant in the Universe? What do all living things need?
L: oh so mushy mushy it makes mwe want to vomit.
S: come on it's so simple - you say it
S: that's right .. God only wants/needs your love .. is that so greedy or horrid?
L: i still think she's a freaking demanding Bitch.
S: you WOULD thiink that ASShole
[the 3 of them collectively sigh]
S: so what about my proof moderator - will you think about it?
N: give me a couple entcentruries to validate/invalidate your claims
[Lucifer starts lauhing]
[the other 23 start laughing with him]
[S starts laughin AT him]
[his laughter gets so loud the studio audience must cover their ears]
[Satan's eyes start turning red in anger and hatred]
[the studio audience and N start laughing with S]
[L's heasd begins to look like as if it will explode from anger]
[he disappears in a puff of smoke]
S: i TOLD you .. he can't stand a joke .. isn't that the true measure of arrogance?
[N looks at his hands in consternation]
Back to normal writing style and self-correction. (i actually typed that without making a mistake.;) (and that too!;) What i'm trying to say in this essay is: for the most part, for most of my recent essays, it was actually God speaking to you directly. Now that's quite a claim and i realize it must sound arrogant to many. But if you can accept the fact that i've made Humility a discipline, that God actually exists and cares for us, that She does answer prayers, then it's not much of a stretch to accept the rest .. In my recent uploaded video i mention the fact i 'healed Tofie's broken spine'. If you doubt me, get a vet here to examine him. X-ray him and test him to see what kind of trauma his spine endured from the accident Joe claims he saw. If you can prove that i healed Tofie's broken spine (with one massage), i ask you again - don't make a big deal out of it. I'm not here to do miracles of that sort. The only miracle i'm here for is one: to open your hearts to God. When that happens, i will shut up for good and won't need to preach any more. (For those of you who cannot stand preachers.) i myself have little stomach for arrogant preachers .. but i can listen to those who prove to me they're Humble.
Btw, the only true weapon against Satan is laughter. In 2012, when we have our 'Satan Eviction Party', when we all laugh from our hearts at his Idiocy, then he will leave Earth for good. I promise this.