Life is Change, Growth is Optional, Choose Wisely

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Life is Change, Growth is Optional, Choose Wisely

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Granted, our dreams and hopes can be a bit ridiculous sometimes, however, nothing is more cruel than a life changing event without your permission.  Then starts the journey of self awareness that most have never explored. When making sound choices are more critical than ever and the desires of the heart take a back seat to reality.  3 years ago i woke up from seemingly a nightmare which left me with a broken neck. Recovery was dashed as my L-5 lumbar decided to give in to the pressure 4 months later.  As the dim light of hope for a speedy recovery faded, I broke my neck a second time 11 months later.  the details are important but for this story, I will move forward.

Now I remind myself that the future comes one day at a time. Finding the spiritual meaning in all this is staggering. Rebuilding the mosaic of my life now leads me toward an emotional stability which is the necessary foundation for accepting a fresh outlook.  Im beginning to understand that when I believe, others receive.  It takes courage to expose your frailties and paradigms which arent fully developed  quite yet.  In my journey through rehabilitation I have experienced extreme pharmaceutical overload, with anti depressants, pain medication, spasm meds, and sleeping meds.  This medication roulette cost me two years of my life.  That magic bullet which would allow me to jump back into society, stable and content, searching for my regular parking space did not manifest.  So I wasted another year being pissed off about it.  Six month ago, I stopped all medications and opted to try cannabis for relief.

When we choose to embrace something familiar in a new way theres always a need for more education and awareness.  I would say to anyone who believes they have strong feelings about this issue to take the time to be around disabled human beings and there struggles. Sadness and despair are powerful emotions and when unchecked become  physical agony as well as psychological land mines. I embrace my experiences as a badge of honor, saturated in humility knowing that my time to really live is waiting for me to engage.  I believe, You recieve.