Love, masturbation, and parenting

When i was a teenager, i needed to masturbate around three times a day (sometimes more, sometimes less). Nowadays, it's about once a month.. i did it for two basic reasons: one, i needed physical release and two, to clear my mind. When i 'went down on' my ex, she thought "i liked it" which i do.. But i was also trying to please her. So cynics (who likely have had their hearts broken too much / many times), who don't believe in love, are missing something big: the chance to share intimacy at such a deep level words fail.. We typically ignore and neglect our need for intimacy and re-label it something else like: sex, humping, getting off, mutual masturbation,.. But i think this denigrates and makes pedestrian something inherently beautiful, magical, and divine (as Hindus view sex). So not everything about Hinduism is 'bad'.. The bed is an altar to the Divine to Hindus. i agree. We share the deepest form of intimacy there and in a very real way, connect with Divinity.

Riley Martin and Rael share many things in common: they believe a 'super race' are basically parents of the human race. Riley's parents he calls Biaviians and Rael - Elohim. But.. don't real parents take care of their children? Riley claims "we're not ready" and Rael - "we need to build a spaceport". But i think/feel we're more than ready and don't need a spaceport. i confront the parents in both worlds/'realities': do your job as parents to humanity - nurture us, care for us, love us,.. If you're truly our parents, do your job and connect with us. i'm not saying "solve all our problems" (that's our responsibility). i'm not saying "give us scientific truth and technological wonders" (again, that's our responsibility). i'm saying "love us as our parents".

Rael has started a religion called Raelianism. Riley claims not to be doing that but requires you to accept everything he says on faith - is that not a religion? .. At least in Better Way, i state what a person must take on faith and what should be obvious (8 noble truths vs 2 fold path). Rael is 'obviously full of himself' but at least he admits he's starting a religion.. Riley cannot seem to recognize that fact.

.. As i smoked upstairs on the back balcony/porch (i smoke to clear my mind), i realized my 'physics proclamations' likely provoke resentment and contempt toward me. So i cannot blame humanity for dissing me.. It's human nature to resent stern parenting.. When i take on the role of 'conscience for humankind', it's in a sense - stern parenting. So i hold no resentment toward humanity for dissing me.

My ex will turn 27 soon. She's at the age when people want freedom and independence. So i cannot resent her desires/needs. If i had the financial independence, i would support her goals without any expectations.. But i would hope she would recognize the truth behind that and not misperceive it as "i don't care". i kind of doubt she would .. Love cares, accepts others as they are, is patient, and always allows freedom (freedom to walk out the door at any moment). It is most certainly not apathy (its total opposite). So love is not saying "i don't care if you walk out the door!" Love is saying "i don't want you to go but you are free to go - always".

About humanity's maturity.. i waver a bit between classifying it as infantile up to adolescence. In some ways, we're infantile (our nationalism, warring tendencies, subjugating tendencies,..). In other ways, we're adolescent (our science, our faiths, our technology,..) Our worst attribute is our tendency to exploit. We exploit ourselves and Earth - it's a travesty.

So in some ways, Riley's right - we're not ready for Biaviians to parent us. But regardless, if they're right, if there's some kind of 'super race' out there watching us.. We need our parents to love us. Humans need love more than anything. It's the only thing that can save us .. Hehe, remember the old Twilight Zone where there was this creature studying humans in a house for many years trying to solve the 'human equation'? His missing factor over many years was love. And that's what's missing from today's 'human equation': love.

Here's where i rarely use the term Christ: Christ was right. Love is the only thing that can save us from ourselves. In that sense, he was the Christ (the Son of God and Savior of humankind). i don't like to talk in those terms because it glorifies someone who treasured humility. It goes against his value system .. But Jesus was right: love is the only answer/solution to the human problem.

So i forgive you for wasting human resources on idiotic ideas (the greatest travesty in science). i forgive you for dissing me.. i forgive you for resenting me .. What's the only true value in the Golden Rule? You can only hope for - what you give.

And further, if they're really out there,.. i forgive Biaviians/Elohim for neglecting us.. Technically speaking (even if they've guided us genetically), they're not responsible for the mess we've made on Earth. They've planted the seed but we've ripped out the plant by the roots.. That's not their fault. If it seems like neglect that they don't openly love us, who am i to judge? Is it really their fault we turn our backs toward them spiritually? And what would we do if they did openly engage us? Reject them?

i have a feeling humanity would expect them to solve our problems and give us truth when we must do both ourselves. That's probably the main reason they keep aloof. We must solve our own problems and arrive at Truth ourselves. Be accountable and find our own unique path. Isn't that love? .. It may sound crazy but i think i've just made a heuristic proof that they actually exist and love us (or else they don't exist). Either way - we must do this ourselves..

Replace 'super race' with God and you get the same answer: we must do this ourselves. Either God exists and loves us - or - God does not exist and .. We must do this ourselves is the answer to the human problem in both cases.

Most of us believe in 'something'.. Is it really so weak of us to need that 'something'? When we pray, perhaps we're really only tapping into our divine Self .. Whatever the case, we believe - and that faith sometimes is the only thing that allows us to continue.. There have been weak moments in my life when i have screamed and prayed and cried all at the same time.. It was when i felt most abandoned by God.. But at this very moment, also when i was up on the porch smoking.. i can/could feel Her in me. Is that fantasy/need/weakness or Truth?