Music Therapy Making a Difference: Part IV - My Personal Story

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Vitas - Mommy and Son

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Many have followed my posts since I first started at NP last fall. Those who know me well enough, know that writing to me is more than just reporting the facts. Writing is about extending myself.

Why the topic on Music Therapy?  ...Well, after years of nursing I found myself being on the other end of the spectrum. I had a loss of energy and pain that brought me to my knees. I was not able to leave the house. Medications were no longer helping. Doctors could not help.

What got me through?… Conversion to organic living to be sure. Writing played a big role. One day at a time, one small dream at a time, even if that dream was just to enjoy a mineral bath. It was slow-going, but I delighted in the small signs of progress I was experiencing. Still I felt there could be more.

I was ecstatically grateful for the little things, but now I was ready to join the land of the living. I wanted to expand my writing. I was holding back fearing that all I had accomplished in my healing would disappear.

That was before Il Divo came into town. It was the start of their 2009 North American Tour. It was a start of a whole new life for me.
 
I bought the best seats in the house, for me and for Margaret, a dear friend of mine who had always been there for me if I needed something. At the time I had no job, no income, fragile health, and mounting bills. Without even a second thought, I used my credit card. This was unlike me. I usually plan my finances a year ahead of time. My winter heating bills are paid before winter ever has a chance to settle in. Why did I follow this crazy notion? Go against my fearful instincts that told me otherwise?  I guess somewhere inside of me I knew this would be a “changing day in my life”. And it did not disappoint.

At the concert, passion and purpose melted into my heart once again, and circulated throughout my body and to my brain. The fog lifted, and I formed a connection to my Star once again. These days, I dance for hours and laugh out loud for no reason. Indescribable joy swirls around me. I don’t have to force myself to stay focused on my dreams because I am living it today and everyday. It doesn’t mean there aren’t any low points. In fact, pain is felt even more deeply. But it is short lived and easily transformed into the most sparkling time of my life.

It reminds me of this amazing glass ball that I own with a glittering star inside. The glass is made from the ashes of Mt. St. Helen’s volcanic eruption.

A great symbol that devastation never lasts, and joy is forever.

Many of you have shared with me your personal music from around the world. I have been blessed to hear many tunes, all with its unique sounds. There is so much more out there besides the North American scene. I hope postings of music, poetry and art continue to flourish in the Culture channel. Perhaps at the end, when we are done ravaging the earth, all that will be left is a song. Perhaps that is all we will ever need to start all over again.

Shortly after the Il Divo concert, on youtube, I came across a voice that stopped me in my tracks. As great as Il Divo was, this sound changed me in so many more ways. That voice belongs to Vitas, a Russian singer. This is my medicine, my Music Therapy. So great the music that it deserves a page of its own. And someday I hope to write that story of his with a personal interview that he rarely gives. We’ll see. Until then this concludes the series on Music Therapy. I leave you with a poem of mine.

As I Am

I am not the clothes I wear
I am not the words I speak
I am that frightened child
I am that mighty giant.
I swirl all around.

I stand high only
To slip through the tunnels
Of unknown destiny
Crashing against smooth curves.

Tonight I stand on top of the stage                                                                                          
Flowing with light
Knowing that at midnight                                                                                                          
I will slip from the edge
Fall into the darkness
Stars flickering afar

My eyes
 Open to a
  Crumpled floor
    Curled in humanity,
     Tears turn to morning dew,
       Cracks fill with dawn’s new light

Fluttering wings lift me up
To where it all began
Tonight I will stand on the stage
...Once again.

I am not perfect,
But for now
I will be your Rock
Of Gibraltar

By Sara Star

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**Due to popularity of this story, I am adding further comments here.

Comments are closed in the regular section after three months, but I can add them here.
 

October 30/09

I liked your post.I am a firm believer in Music Therapy (and other alternative therapies). I did study Music Therapy in my Colour Therapy Diploma Course and learned that certain notes can be chosen specially for a client with certain conditions.

There's too much pill popping when there can be other ways to help. Pills just give Glaxo Smith Kline etc lots of £££ profits and bonuses. Much rather give it to musicians.

Beaulieu

Nov 15/09 ....still getting recommends and remarks, thank you all!  - Sara