New Cell Phone

word on the street is Lucas is over indulged. spoiled if u will. i say phooey to that. he is our only child....yes..."an only child". the word "only "burns me up as to describe Lucas i would never use the word "only". he is a miracle. he was a gift and he will always be my GREATEST accomplishment in life. well T had a part in that but if you know my struggles of infertility caused by several medical issues then u get what i mean. only very few know the A-Z of what we went thru to get Lucas, the entire story. My Mom, My Sister and my SIL Tracy and my SIL Sue (Brothers Wife) are a few that know the entire story. it took us 6 years to conceive Lucas and after he was born we tried 6 more years for baby #2 until i was told it was not to be and complete hysterectomy was had. close friends know the full story and plp that have found themsleves in the same/similar situation have asked me about it and i am pleased to say that 3 of my friends became pregnant with a procedure i had that we fully believe and is actually doucmented at UNC that enabled us to conceive. one girl had been trying 9 long years.

so it brings me to "only child". we have never used that to describe Lucas. we just have never viewed him as that, possibly because we had no option and were just so HAPPY to be blessed with him. others have tho-used the "only child" term and some of the ways it is used burns me up. "oh, so he is an only child" and then they give u that look. like we chose to only have one? if we did i say SO FRICKING WHAT but we did not and i HATE that i have to defend ourselves by saying "well were unable to have more" that shuts them up and the reaction i get is hard to explain. it's as if to only have one child is selfish or a crime? it's hard to explain. when i was pregnant 2 of the girls i worked with were also. it was so much fun going thru the process with 2 friends. except for the time we all entered our kids in a calender Comp and Lucas won Mr October and their kids were not even called. that was hard but i digress......those 2 girls both made a CHOICE to stop at one and both of them were quite able to have more. they both went off the pill at a designated time and were pregnant within 8 mths. in a way it's weird....they CHOSE to have just the one but we would have liked to have had one more. they could have and we couldn't. it is THEIR choice to have one child and i say SO WHAT.

which brings me back to the only child comments i get. i am no longer going to defend or respond with an explanation as to why we have one child. plp judge on so many things. there are always questions....when are u gettting engaged. when are u getting married, when are u having a baby. when are u having another. plp need to mind their business. it got so bad after 6 years i was advised by close friends to just tell the nosy's that we were unable. that was hard to do as i hate to make plp feel bad but it was the only way to shut them up. it's no-one bizness. the classic when i found out i was pregnant with Lucas was "we never thought it was ever gonna happen".

u have got to be kidding me? HUH SAY WHAT? so it had been discussed behind our backs i guess and conclusions had been made....T and I were choosing NOT to have kids or we were unable. either way....note to plp........the usual thing to say to someone that says they are expecting is CONGRATULATIONS!!! maybe a "i am so happy for you both" as well. some plp have no tact-open mouth insert foot. but i have heard MUCH worse said when a pregnancy was announced and HELLO---it was out of the mouth of the same person!! OH YUKKITY YUCK i am not going to say what it was here. when i hear the news of pregnancy i always say Congratulations. maybe i am weird to think that is what plp should say? i have to say that when i worked a 9-5-er i worked with a LOT of women and there was a time there was something in the water. Trying for 6 years is extremely stressful and each mth bought me so much sadness when Fred arrived but we never gave up.......so at work......preganancy anouncement after pregnancy announcement and each time i sd congratulations. i often would go into the bathroom and cry. bless their hearts tho.....every announcement made.....each girl knew how hard it would be for me to hear. that's coz almost everyone i worked with became pregnant right away...the longer time went on the worse plp felt for us.......20/20 i should never have ever sd we were trying but who knew? i was not alone tho.....there was LuLu who had been trying 3 yrs longer and as i sd succeeded at 9 yrs so i had someone else to cry with. i remember to THIS DAY when i came into work and announced.......i WAS DREADING LuLu hearing, she congratulated me and was so happy for me, the whole office screamed when i announced and many cried for joy. what a great day, thru-out my pregnancy i had so many "mommies". when LuLu announced i cried with her and everyone else....we were a close group. i never became upset when i saw babies....it was pregnant women that made me sad for to me in my mind...to have a baby meant getting pregnant first and i couldn't.....if that makes sense. so i was OK with the babies but not seeing pregnant women.

so Lucas is our son. we have never viewed him as an only child. he is our precious Son and so what if we celebrate is B-Day or Xmas with things that most kids his age would not receive all at once. he knows if he had siblings he would only have recieved HALF a new cell phone and his new football shoes would have been part of his present as well as his new football bag with his name on it and even the socks. now we did give him a GC of $100 to his favorite clothing store. there is a lesson here for him in that. clothes are something he requires. by giving him this GC he is going to find out EXACTLY how much u get at his hip little clothing store and he is going to learn how far $100 goes there-not far. i always shopped for him ay high end department stores...always but those are just not good enough for Mr Stylish. it will be interesting to see how much he learns when i take him to spend his $100.

we do have limits....well i do....T does not! :) i had to tell him ENOUGH already with the electronics and gadgets and things to go with the gadgets. i drew the line at internet for the phone and some other crazy thing T wanted to get him. Lucas also asked for TIVO and T decided that would not be a B-Day gift as it is a Family thing.

we enjoy B-day and Xmas for Lucas. he appreciates what we do. he knows he is a lucky boy. maybe we over compensate for other things, primarily that would be Family not being close, well mine isn't. Lucas had B-day parties from age 1 thru age 10. it always saddened me that Family was never there altho my Mom was at his 6th b-day as she was visiting at that time and i had surgery that yr, that was when i was told there would be no-more. i was glad she was with me for that.

Lucas's BFF Victor always had his B-day a few weeks after Lucas and he always had a party too, at his home and i have to admit being really sad and envious that Victor had so many extended Family at each party.....many of which were NOT local but came from Michigan for the event. however sad it made T and I we felt it was our fault. we lived so far away from everyone and when i moved here (USA) i never really thought about the long term inpact of later on and kids.

I think about when he graduated MS.....that was no huge thing compared to how it made me look ahead to HS and when he graduates. over here that is HUGE and plp gather and celebrate, mainly Family. it's always been us 3 and it always will be. we will figure something out down the road for that HS graduation.

plp are busy. i know that but i am saddened that Lucas did not receive one phone call on his B-Day. he brushes it off. oh well.

Lucas had a great B-Day. we've always made is special and we always will, no matter how old he is :)

he is such a great kid and we are extremely proud of him. so PHOOEY to the talkers of how he is over indulged/spoiled. yet here i am explaining it? defending yet again. it's the last time. Lucas is FAR FROM AN ONLY ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!