the road to Hell..

is paved with the best intentions.

How so very true .. My wife and oldest brother keep pushing me to get a conventional job in the vilest ways. They attack my character, morale, mission, writings,.. - anything that does not produce money. But if they just took a moment to actually read my essays (with an open mind/heart), they'd Understand that i'm fighting against the concept of money (and greed / exploitation associated with it). They seem to delight in labeling me: loser, louse, leech, lazy,.. Anything to boost their position/argument about supporting Arthur. Frankly, i love and agree with them wholeheartedly - i must support Arthur BUT NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF MY MISSION HERE ON EARTH.

i took a walk today out of the village to the west .. It got warm after an hour out so i headed back .. But of course, i had a good conversation with my oldest brother (to the trees lining the road) before returning. i understand his position and intention but because of his ego and continual attempt to squish (dominate) me, he might as well be on the payroll of Satan.

Timing is everything, right? Hitler took power at just the right time in German history. i argue the pharaohs of ancient Egypt took absolute power just after a many-year drought which forced the farming-class into absolute servitude. The first pharaoh was worshipped as a god for good reason - to keep the people in check. To make sure the working classes knew their place: to work and worship. The history of control on the planet shows how gullible humans are but at the same time - how weak leaders are to have to force worship and authority. i see most leaders who must force obeying as Weak .. The same thing for people who attack my character because i do not fit their image of a good father. As i told Yui over the phone: my duty is to humanity first.

Timing is everything; there's no coincidence i developed a mathematical proof God exists 'just before' 2012. Better Way and the War for Meaning were basically timed by God to fit the needs of human beings. God never talks out Her asshole (for no reason). There's always a reason. Just sometimes it takes time for it to become clear. For instance, i would have never written my mother's pastor about the War for Meaning without my oldest brother's attacks on my character. And i would have never sent out my last essay to accumulated acquaintances without it as well. i'm not exactly thanking him for attacking me; i just recognize a reason for everything. He's still an Arrogant Asshole in my book (basically employed by Satan).

i'm not going to detail his weaknesses in public because, in spite of the demon(s) currently residing in him, i still love the big oaf (he IS my brother after all). And i have no intention of lowering myself to the level of the demons infesting him. They deserve my pity - nothing more.

And if you think about this war carefully, it's no wonder my family is on the 'Satanic attack list' for decades. So really i must pity my oldest brother for being an (assumed) unwilling target of demonic attacks .. As i told my old-best-friend: there's really nothing to forgive (when you're dealing with demonic possession).

So i love and pray for my American family .. i always pray for Yui (her happiness, health, and fulfillment) .. i always pray for Arthur (his happiness, health, fulfillment, and to be a good man). You see, you must be very specific in your prayer-wording. If you leave one word out, you leave an opening for Satan (for instance, if i leave out "health" above, they can be happy and fulfilled in a wheelchair - so i'm Very careful in my prayer-wording). And "to be a good man" for Arthur because if i left that out, he could be an assassin or mass-murderer and still be "happy, healthy, and fulfilled". Get my point?

i pray a Lot these days .. Sometimes it's my only way to fend off demonic attacks (whether through my brother or 'ether' (psychic attacks)). i must pray out of necessity: when your oldest brother is calling you "dead", "crazy",.. and really meaning it, when your wife is continually needling you to "get a job" (instead of 'wasting time' on these essays), you MUST pray.

i also pray of course for humanity .. To open their hearts to God, to recognize Her, to accept Her love .. If this makes me: 'crazy', 'lazy', 'loser', 'bad father',.., then so be it. i'm Happy in Her Love .. One last point. It's about what we're willing to sacrifice for our goals. If someone held a gun to my brother's head and said "stop your attacks on Sam or I'll shoot you in the head", he would simply walk away and call the police. If someone held a gun to Arthur's/my head and said "give up your mission or i shoot", i'd have to say: NO!

Take your best shot Satan; She's covering my butt.