Spiritual adversity and readiness

synergy with Mariko

After speaking with Mariko last night, we arrived at some fundamental truths about our existence.. By and large, our most important realization was the fact: God does not give you challenges you're not ready for. That's very similar to the Jewish notion of being tested by God.. But not exactly the same. As i've written before, physical challenges are required because without them, we'd overpopulate and likely self-extinguish. Just as important, spiritual challenges are required for spiritual growth. We might have to acknowledge Satan (or any inimical spiritual force) is a requirement for spiritual growth.. We don't need him forever but.. During spiritual immaturity such as from the beginning of our civilization, we needed not just physical challenges to overcome with human technology but also spiritual challenges to overcome with spiritual growth. It seems a necessary evil.

Mariko is a highly evolved spiritual creature and i treasure her friendship immensely .. To get more explicit, i was explaining to her what an idiot i was about Bianca, the grocery clerk i adore. i made a youtube video explaining my interests in her but it was patently LAME. :( So.. We live and learn. i must apologize to Bianca's face what an idiot i was.. But at the same time, i realized i must not make the same mistake with Kristie (see the last few articles inspired by her). One week later, it seems she's not going to meet me again where we met.. So perhaps i 'blew it' yet again.. The thing is about attraction, when you 'make your moves', sometimes it scares them off.. Today's a good example. i saw a girl fishing across the lake.. Maybe we made eye contact several times.. Maybe there was some connection.. i said to myself: “Why should i be so afraid?” So i got up and leaned on the fence between us.. And watched her fish.. For a moment, it seemed like it was just me and her. Again, i realized: “What am i so afraid of?” So i got my stuff and started walking around the lake.. To meet her and see if there was any spark.. She must have got scared and disappeared when i was halfway around the lake. So i turned around and went home.. You never know unless you try.

i need to select highlights of Mariko's conversation with me. There are some real gems of points.. We talked about 1000% honesty. We agreed things that might hurt our mate don't necessarily have to be revealed.. As an example: “I desired your brother/sister.” This is a common fact of life. We don't need to beat our mate up with the fact. But i made a good point that with maturity, honesty is usually the best policy.. Mature individuals can 'handle' more truth than immature ones.. Don't be a doormat; have integrity. That plus true love should be sufficient .. i explained (using Kay as an example) about how important shared dreams are in a serious relationship .. i mentioned three great movies: Galaxy Quest, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and Emma .. i told her about my friend Z and how much i admire her strength and integrity .. About Bee and my experience on an airplane with a Japanese woman .. She was curious about if any wife of mine had an affair on me, what i would do.. i stated that if she was extremely promiscuous, she could have her freedom easily.. If it was just once, likely i'd forgive her.. During the conversation, i realized how important Bee is to me.. i can't say right now she's the 'love of my life' because i cannot know what's gonna happen next.. But for the last five years, she's been 'the one'.. (As a side note, gug met someone he's crazy about: Jojo.. please say a prayer for their happiness and fulfillment.) There was one point in the conversation i felt under attack from her (judgment and looking down on me). This was regarding my experience with the Japanese woman on the airplane.. So there was some 'give and take' about that.. The actual problem was i was typing so fast she could not have a chance to react.. So she switched to voice and i kept typing.. That worked better.. i talked about the War for Meaning and my research associated with it.. i talked about Kristie and Dakota a bit.. i mentioned the salient fact: when you realize what you want out of life, that's an Empowering situation. (Which is what happened to me after i met Kristie.) “Guys are dogs.. They'll fuck any wet hole when they're drunk.. But they're selective about giving their heart.” Typically, Americans are very aloof and distant (to men) but that's exactly why Kristie was such an angel to me. Americans are so aggressive and competitive. For me, it's distasteful in the least. i talked about Kristie's body language with me and how open and inviting it was.. About my fuck-up with Bianca and how Americans are so afraid of stalking.. The fact men are terrified of rejection from women they truly care about.. She made an excellent point about how women admire confidence in men.. My bottom line about Bianca was that truth is preferable even when you know you're likely to be 'shot down'.. i used to believe that love could not solve all problems but.. My dear friends have shown me that it can. If you keep true love in your heart; if you keep your loved ones in your heart, all good things are possible. :) But keep humility top on your list of values.. This path only works with that stipulation. Don't get caught in the 'ego trap'; open your heart to life, this is minimally sufficient for a Meaningful life. Use your sex-drive to love people; don't let your sex-drive dominate you to be promiscuous. Bottom line was Asians are more symbiotic and cooperative; Americans are more aggressive and competitive. i have an Asian character but was born in America. So it should be obvious one of my missions is to share an Asian perspective with Americans.. Instead of the over-simplistic: “Think globally and act locally.” we must be more specific: “Think globally democratically and act locally cooperatively.” This should be our civilization''s new motto.. i love you humanity, my dear friends, and of course: all the goddesses in my life. Kisses, sam